Daydream [H.S. A.U.]

Ch.36*

I'm 29 today. 29 years old with the world at my fingertips and the only thing I care about right now is my beautiful love upstairs wrapped up in my sheets.

She struggled with sleep last night so I decided to let her get some much needed rest. I haven't asked why yet but I've got a pretty good idea since I was woken up a few times to her whimpering I her sleep, crying no, no, please no over and over again. She had mentioned before that her nightmares were gone but now I'm starting to think she fibbed a bit. Of course to probably not worry me while I'm away, but I'd wish she'd open up to me about them.

She's never given too many details the times she's woke up next to me crying and I don't pry no matter how badly I want to.

I'd gone on a run early this morning as the sun came up over the mountains and am now in the backyard of this rental house swimming laps. I needed to get to the bottom of Bria's disrupted sleep but I don't want to push too hard and upset her. Completing at least 20 laps at this time and decided to call it quits, don't want to exhaust myself when it was barely 8 am. I grab my towel to dry off and make my way into my kitchen to prepare coffee for everyone still snoozing. I pull out two water bottles and head back up to my room while the coffee brews. I find Bria still dead asleep, mouth hanging open, and snoring. She's so adorable when she snores. She'd be mortified if she knew I was witnessing this moment so I'll make sure I keep it to myself. Mental picture taken.

I lean down to peck her on the cheek before hopin in the shower. She stirs a bit under my touch, but doesn't wake fully from her slumber, simply just flops onto her back.

I make my way back into our room freshly showered and dressed to see Bri rolled over checking her phone. She hears me approach the bed and turns to give me a sleepy smile and a raspy, "happy birthday handsome." I kiss her forehead and curl up next to her once more. Her presence makes today so much more than I could have hoped for. Having her here curled up in my bedsheets, I couldn't have asked for a better birthday present.

"How'd you sleep?" She grunts and says, "I think ok. Still a little tired." I swallow hard and decide to risk it. "Were you having nightmares again last night?"  I could feel her breathing stop for a few seconds before she responds, "No."

I try again. "Darling, I heard you whimpering in your sleep. You know you can talk to me right?" She simply nods against my chest.

"Yeah I know I just... don't know how or where to begin." Her voice is wobbly and meek. I bring her face to mine to read her tired features. She has bags under her eyes and she looked completely run down. How long has she not been sleeping?

"How long have you not been sleeping through the night?" She immediately hesitates and rolls her lips together nervously.

"Ummm. Since you left."

My heart clenches at the thought. "But don't worry it's just some shit I'm working through, I've got it handled."

"I know you can handle yourself just fine but I'm here to carry some of that burden for you." I brush my knuckle against her cheek, "No matter what storm is going on in that beautiful mind of yours, I will weather it with you." I'm almost pleading at this point to understand her better. She's still clearly keeping up
some of her walls she's built around her for so many years and I was desperate to take a sledgehammer to them.