Daydream [H.S. A.U.]

Ch.40

Trigger warning: pregnancy loss

There's nothing more frightening than sitting in a cold, brightly lit waiting room to find out if the love of your life was going to make it through surgery.

The buzzing from the florescent lights was like nails on a chalk board and the rhythmic humming of the vending machines made my skin crawl. Gripping the disposable coffee cup in my hands, I nervously bounce my leg up and down, up and down, up and down, counting the square white tiles beneath my feet. There were 35 of them just in the small area we were sitting in. Once I made it to 35, I started over.

Jaqueline and Bria's mom sit opposite of me with their heads lulled to the side, fast asleep. How in the hell can they sleep right now?

I wish I could sleep. I've been up for almost 48 hours give or take and I felt like I was going to keel over.

Her dad was down the hall looking for snacks, but I couldn't eat a single thing. I tried eating a bag of chips but threw them up, so I figured the experiment should end at that. I won't be able to stomach solid food until I know Bria is okay.

It's been hours since I'd arrived at the hospital and not a word has been uttered about Bria's condition from the hospital staff. We were told she was rushed into surgery, but have yet to receive any real updates other than the doctors are doing everything they can.

Seven words I never want to hear ever again.

By the 3rd time hearing that phrase I almost lost it on a nurse who was simply just doing his job, but to me it wasn't enough. Nothing felt like it was enough. A few unkind words were said and security was threatened to be called on me for it. Eventually TJ pulled me to the side and basically told me to shut the fuck up and that my behavior wasn't helping, and he was right. I was letting my fear take the reins knowing that it wasn't going to change anything I couldn't stop myself from thinking the absolute worst case scenario was unfolding.

I took a long walk to the courtyard and sat by myself for a beat because... that's all I could do, just sit and wait.

The police told her parents that there'd been an accident that sent the car over a steep cliff. Luke was dead on site and to say I won't miss a single nights sleep over it would be the understatement of the fucking year. Bria, my sweet Bria suffered from internal injuries, a fractured femur, an acute head injury and a broken arm. All of that and she was still alive when the paramedics and fire department arrived.

Shes a fighter so I know she'll make it through this. I'll never be the same if she doesn't, so I'm willing it to be true.

The sun was beginning to set through the windows, casting a dark ominous shadow through the waiting room. Standing and staring out the windows, I notice large storm clouds rolling in and the kicking up the wind,  blowing everything in site around like a fucking tornado. I don't remember seeing any rain in the forecast but the storm was coming on faster than anyone expected, prompting people to race to their cars to avoid the downpour looming over our heads. The sky mirrored the current situation at hand. The bright sunny day morphed into darkness and disorder, a perfect representation of the inside of my mind right now. Every single ominous feeling felt all at once has practically made me mute since I'd arrived. Everyone's tried to talk to me, but I can barely muster up a few words at a time.