Behind The Red Curtain | YiZhan ✓

85-One With Gold, And One With A Rose

Yibo was only six when his father had left home, never to be seen again. From then on, his mother would always tell him that he went overseas to work,  in order to provide them with lots of money. He would've thought she were lying, if it weren't for the amount his mother would spend on high brand clothing. 

Maybe she had won the lottery he thought, or had some secret cash lying somewhere purposefully for these hard times. But the thought of his father having gone overseas to work for their sake, was hardly believable still, as he had already engraved it in his mind that he had left them behind for good. 

After that, things started becoming darker for them. His mother would mentally obsess over the smallest mistakes he'd do, try to manipulate his thoughts so he'd only listen to her and not have an opinion of his own, and even go as further as to beating him into submission. 

But Yibo knew better than to lay where he was, being stepped over by her harsh words. That personality of his had caused him to be rebellious more than obedient, going to horrible lengths to drive his mother crazy until she freaked out every time. 

He knew he was not normal either, putting the fault on his father who had left his mother to rot, and on his mother who had let herself be influenced by his absence and take her stress out on him. Yibo knew they'd never had a healthy relationship before, due to the fact that his mother was acting like an explosive bomb that would reverse to its first state after each explosion. And that was precisely the reason for his fucked up personality, that his mother came to ignore and imply that she did not understand. 

After all, what mother would own up to their wrongs, especially if it had caused their son to be mentally ill? 

That is what Yibo had told Zhan the night when they had moved in to their new home. 

At the time, Zhan had thought that Yibo might've been slightly exaggerating, but came to feel sympathy anyways. "I feel disappointed that you didn't tell me of such an important thing sooner. I thought we were past all this secrecy and shit..." 

Yibo had been looking at his eyes and expression the whole time, worried as if it would change any second. "I didn't want you to know of such a vulnerable side of mine..." 

"But you told me now anyways. So that excuse doesn't work." 

"...only because i thought you deserved to know." 

"Yet you didn't have the courage to tell me of it before we moved in." 

Yibo knew what that exactly meant, quickly going down on his knees to hold his hands as if he were pleading for him to not let go. "I was insecure... i'm so sorry.." 

Yet Zhan cried instead. Tears as fat as the stars above. "It does not matter how it all happened... you came to be who you are now because of it." Yibo could only caress him with his eyes, too afraid to shock him. "Do not act as though my love for you is fragile. What so, if you're fucked up. So am i! Yet did i run away when you saw me at my worst? Did i doubt you? No i didn't! So stop acting like such an idiot and hold me already!" 

Despite his actions having been slow, Zhan accepted every part of him nevertheless. It wasn't and had never been an option to do otherwise anyways. 

Now looking back on it, he could only reminisce at the thought of that serene yet heartwarming moment, that had brought them much closer than before. And as he looked at Yibo's mom also, he could see what he had exactly been talking about. A stern woman hard to deal with, someone who knew of her priorities. He didn't know what he would've done if she had been his mother instead. Deming had been everything but abusive on him, making Zhan wonder if he should be relieved at the thought, or feel pity for what he had been through instead.