Love In You || Naruto Uzumaki Love Story

The Truth About My Mental Health (UPDATE)

UPDATE IS TOWARD BOTTOM!

Hey guys...

So I'm guessing you're scratching your head by the title of this update. I didn't want to have to talk about this or put my business out there for the world to see, but I feel as though this is really necessary to do. I feel like I owe you guys this and exactly what's been going on with me for the LONGEST time.

So since I was a kid or teen, I've been picked on, or so I should say, bullied. Since I was young, I've always been called all sorts of names like ugly, fat, stupid, worthless, etc. I've mainly always got picked on for my face cause it's not considered attractive, and I feel like the main reason that is so is because my face is littered in acne scars. I've suffered from acne since I was around ten but by the time I was a teen, it got pretty bad and that's when everyone started calling me ugly, hideous, etc.

Because of my face, I struggled to make friends and for sure, to find a man who would love me for me. I've always been the butt of a joke and literally practically anytime I walk by someone, they burst into a fit of laughter just looking at me. I was always treated differently, made fun of, and rejected by people no matter how nicely I treated others. I was never worth anything in their eyes.

Because of that, I had suffered from EXTREME low self esteem, depression, and anxiety. I always felt like I was hideous, fat, a nobody, and sometimes even felt like I should die. I never felt like I was good enough. One thing though that had always helped with my depression... was watching anime. Anime just brought me into this world where I felt like if I was just in their world, they'd probably accept me. The characters were so kind, amazing, accepting and inspirational. I always looked up to them and even wanted to be like them or find someone like them. As a 13 year old, I had a crush on teen gohan from DBZ and I used to read all sorts of fanfiction of him.

Some of my favorites was on a site called Quizilla. It's no longer available anymore online, but these fanfics of Gohan had always amazed me and made me fantasize about my crush on him at the time. One day, feeling inspired by a couple writers on quizilla, I asked myself , "what if I made my own story of Gohan and myself?"

So, I began to write this book. Back then, my imagination was vivid and I had soooo many ideas. The only problem was, instead of being true to who I was, I decided to make my oc, which was supposed to be me mind you, look COMPLETELY different. I feel like this was because I felt as though I was too ugly to write my appearance in that story. The main oc was pretty, she had long black hair, big black eyes, and light skin. The character Mio Akiyama from K-on. I remember wanting to look like her bc I felt like I wasn't pretty as myself. I felt like my darker skin, short nappy hair, small eyes, wider nose, acne, wasn't beautiful. Because I had been told over and over I was ugly af, ugly as shit.

Anyway, I decided to post this story and sooner rather than later, I noticed I started getting a lot of reads. People were REALLY reading my story. There was even a few people who messaged me telling me they loved my story and that they wanted more. So, ofc this shocked me as a kid cause I was thinking, "oh crap! People really like my gohan story?!"

So I continued to post on quizilla until one day, the site announced that they would be closing and that if we didn't move our stories elsewhere, we'd end up losing everything. So desperately, I searched for another site to put my story on and that's... when I found Wattpad in July of 2012.

Now Wattpad was a whole different experience for me. I found a few fanfics that I had liked and I would nervously comment on people's stories, scared of what their reply would be. I remember there was this one particular author who had written a Trunks story, replied to me and I was over the moon about it. We became friends and I believe I was telling her how I wanted to post a Gohan story and she said "go for it". So with her encouragement, I rewrote my Gohan story and shared it on wattpad. I believe she was the first person to read and comment on it and soon, I think she shared it with others and through patience and consistent updating, my story began to rack up with reads and comments.