Jagged Embrace

Chapter 18 - Ander

The door clicked as Mason left. All that was left was to clean and sterilize the area. He planned on viewing the hundreds of photographs he took during the autopsy later, when his mind was more alert. Mason had taken the last of the gorgon away to store and broker it at a later date. It mattered little to Ander what she did with the body at this point; he had documented the entire process and retrieved the specialty items. It took a few guesses on how to store certain items, but in the end, he was proud of his work.

Ander did not tell Mason he kept some pieces for himself. He did not anticipate an opportunity like it again, and the possibilities were too great to not keep specific items. He checked the containers to make certain the spell he cast would hold. The exhilaration from casting still made his skin tingle, but he focused on his treasured components, and ignored the urge to spell cast again and his conscience that reminded him he should not be using magic at all.

He procured five containers in all. One that held blood, one that held venom extracted from the snakes on its head, one of scales, one of teeth, and one of hair. It did not seem it had any hair due to the large number of serpents on its scalp, but as he dismembered the body, he discovered many fascinating details, including that it had hair, just not much.

He finished sterilizing the area and then took the jars to his room and hid them behind his false books on his shelves before heading to take a shower. As he passed Will's room, he intended to turn away, but found he stared at it until he no longer saw it. He entered their bathroom and opened the shower curtain to find Maeve's shampoo and body wash. Ander turned to the wall and placed his forehead against the surface. The autopsy and dismemberment took hours, and he was tired, but not enough to chase the thoughts of her out of his mind.

She was with Will right now. He understood he could not be with Maeve, that had not changed, but foolishly, his feelings had. Ander meant to maintain his distance from her, at least from an emotional standpoint, but failed. She was a constant in his thoughts. He balled his hands. He could not avoid being connected to her because of their souls mingling, but he meant to keep it at that. When she and Will kissed, he had felt so betrayed and angry. She was not his, would never be, and yet possessiveness burned inside of him.

He understood she sought to comfort him when they waited for Will to return with the supplies, but he could not allow it. She did not need to justify her actions with Will to him; she owed him nothing. And yet he remembered how she gazed at him when they were at Mason's when it was just them, the way her eyes looked when they had first slept together - so many moments. She cared for him. He was positive of it, but that was not the type of emotion he craved from her. What he wished for, she could not give, not to him.

After a plethora of failures and bad choices, he was not worthy of anyone feeling that way about him. He struck the wall. The trail of corpses behind him were too many to overlook and, unlike Will, not all of them had been because of the war. Despite his efforts, he was what his Uncle Wyatt always told him - he was an abomination. If he had not promised Will several months ago, he would not be alive at the moment. He hit the wall again.

Ander's cell phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled his forehead back from the surface and unlocked his phone. Crap. It was 11am; he had lost time again and stood there for hours. He shook his head and answered the phone.

"Yes." His throat was dry and made his voice rough.

"Where are you? You're not in your room or the den or the morgue. We're trying to decide what to get for lunch." Will's voice was too cheerful.

His stomach bottomed out. He could not face Will and Maeve right now, both joyful and glowing. "I am not hungry," he answered.

"You should still eat," Will told him. The tone shifted slightly to concern.

Ander said nothing. He wanted to lie, but could not speak.

"Andy, you have to eat. You were up all night working. Have you slept at all?"

"I rested, but you disturbed me," he replied.

"Oh shit, sorry. Well, since you are up, get to the den or I'm coming to find you," Will ended the call.

Ander put his phone on the sink counter. Mechanically, he turned on the water and undressed. The water was still frigid when he stepped into the shower, but it did not matter. If anything, it would help to wake him up since he would not sleep until tonight. He showered, only pausing once to sniff Maeve's shampoo and body-wash to see if that was why she invariably smelled of rosemary and mint. It was not. He checked his reflection in the mirror to be sure his eyes were not glowing before he left the bathroom. As he went down the hall, he forced his emotions down into the depths where they belonged. It had been where they existed most of the time before Maeve, anyway.