Jagged Embrace

Chapter 21 - Maeve

Maeve cuddled against Ander on the couch, her fingers curled against his chest, his hand resting on her hip. As soon as he placed his hand, he drifted off. It was the first time he'd ever fallen asleep first. She wanted to move back, just enough to gaze at his sleeping face, and imagined his long lashes fanned against his cheeks. His full lips relaxed. Even with his sharp features when he slept, his face had to soften - didn't everyone's? She was not that tired, but she wanted him to rest, and she was pretty sure he hadn't slept at all. Or, if he did, it wasn't restful sleep. Maeve didn't like that; he never wanted to sleep. Before, when he was plagued with nightmares, it made sense. Since she met him, as far as she knew, he didn't have any, so what was his resistance to the idea of sleeping?

Without thinking, she moved her hand that didn't rest on his chest up to his hair and smoothed it back. He sighed in his sleep, and she smiled at the sound. She was not sure if she could lie for hours, jammed on to the couch with Ander. Before when they were there, it hadn't been bad, but they'd both been asleep. This time he would sleep, and she needed to remain as still as possible, but not fall asleep herself. She had to be certain he rested. However, it didn't leave many things she could do other than think. Being alone with her thoughts during the past month hadn't been great. Most of the time, they took her to a dark place. As conflicted as she was, it was impossible to go into that darkness with him next to her.

When Will kissed her on the way out of the room, she sensed his desire. He'd only held back because Ander was next to her. It was odd, holding hands with Ander and having Will's lips pressed against hers. Part of her ignited with desire, and the other part was conflicted. She hadn't meant to, but when Will's lips touched hers, she clutched Ander's hand harder. He didn't say anything about it, and she didn't know why she'd done it.

Her brain reminded her it was why she wasn't supposed to get personally involved with people she touched souls with. The aftermath was already messy and confusing. The rest of the world wouldn't understand what it was like to have their soul mingle with another person's, but once done, there was always a part of them inside of you and part of yourself inside of them. It was impossible not to be affected in some way, and this - constantly being around the last people you touched souls with - overwhelmed her.

She was no longer confused as to which thoughts or feelings were hers versus theirs, but she knew there was no escape from them. She'd always been fearful that if she went too far with people she'd shared souls with, it would happen. Worse, she didn't want to escape them anymore, even feeling overwhelmed, even if they were angry or difficult to be around- she didn't want to be apart from them. She'd broken her rule and didn't distance herself. Her essence and theirs mingled too tightly, and she couldn't break the bond. Considering their dangerous lifestyle, and that she was hunted, it didn't bode well for the future. However, at the moment, alone with Ander in a safe place, she didn't want any other life.