Jagged Embrace

Chapter 88 - Ander

Ander opened his eyes, scanning the room. The barrier was still in place and everything was quiet. He was becoming much too careless at night. He remembered the barrier, but not until the last minute and, upon inspection, it was not his best work. His eyes flicked to Maeve. Since adjusting his sleeping habits to be more in sync with hers, he found it increasingly difficult to function at peak in the late hours. Ander had not struggled so much since he began his addictions to stimulants or magic. It had been five days since he last spellcasted. Relief flooded his system when he thought about tonight.

He held his temper and allowed Will to incorrectly execute the spellwork, because tonight he would perform the spell perfectly. Of course, he would need to be cautious afterward so that Will would not realize what he had done. He slipped out of bed, entering the bathroom, changing from his brown contacts to the green ones. He would have to put the brown ones in tomorrow to hide the potential glow. After completing his morning routine, he changed into his jogging clothes and went for a quick walk. He wanted to run, but it could wait until after the ritual, when he had a chance to boost his healing.

When he returned, Will and Maeve were awake and moving around. He took a cold shower and then pulled out the bladed weapons to sharpen them. For once, he felt like Will and needed something to occupy his hands. Maeve ate a pastry and became fixated on his motion.

"When did you first use a knife?" she asked before she took a bite.

"Defensively or offensively?

"I guess both?"

"Defensively, I was five and offensively, I was six." He continued to sharpen their weapons. The repetitive motion calmed his anxiety.

"I know this is a dumb question, but why were you using a knife for defense at five?"

"When I was five, we were on a mission that did not go as planned. As we attempted to leave, I was attacked. I grabbed the nearest item, which happened to be a pocket knife."

"Yeah, it was Wyatt's," Will chimed in.

"Initially, I believed he would be furious because I touched his tool, but it had impressed him with the speed I moved and that I wounded the creature with only his pocket knife." Ander studied the blade in his hand for a moment. "I suppose I knew how and where to injure something even then," he finished. The sorcerer's words echoed in his mind. He had been chosen because he had always understood how to take things apart piece by piece. He shook his head.

"So after that, you were allowed to use a knife?" she asked.

"Yes. However, I did not use it offensively until I was six. Wyatt forbade me from participating in any of the missions. He told me I was too frail and weak to be useful. Perhaps that was his way of protecting me when I was a child."

Will made a sound of disgust and reached into the mini fridge for a beer.

Ander glanced at him and then continued. "I felt slighted and wanted to prove my worth, so I snuck out in the heart of the night to track the monster and destroy it. I did not find the monster."

"Yeah, he found a god damn bear, a young one, but he was a small kid, so that was a pretty big fucking bear to him." Will tilted the bottle to his lips.

Maeve froze with the pastry near her lips. "A bear?"

"Yes, a young male. When they are young and beginning their life away from their mothers, they go for easy sources of nourishment- garbage, pet food or anything smaller than they are that stumbles into their territory in the middle of the night. I startled him and he was not pleased about it." He examined his kukri blade.

"So it attacked you because you surprised it?"

"I am sure that played a role in his aggression. I was wounded, but I took the life of the bear. It was my first kill of any kind," he finished in a quiet voice. Perhaps if he had understood the sickness he had unlocked inside himself, he would have never ended the bear's life.

"Yeah, when we found him, we had to take him to the hospital, fucking blood all over the place. Wyatt was pissed at Andy at first, until I pointed out how badass it was that he took down a bear, young or not, by himself. He was in first grade." Will smiled at him.

Ander returned his smile. He still recalled how excited Will had been to visit him at the hospital and praise him for his efforts.

"When did you first use a gun?" Maeve asked, looking at Will.

He scratched the back of his head. "Used, not owned?"

"There's a difference?" Maeve asked with a pinched brow.

"Yeah. Defensive or Offensive?"

"Both!"

"I used one when I was five, but I didn't own one till I was six, got it for my birthday. Mom was mad as a hornet and took it away," Will stopped, his eyes drifted to the wall. "Defensive when I was eight. Started that summer."

Maeve did not understand why it was difficult for Will to discuss this today, but Ander did.

"He began using it offensively for missions the following year when he was nine. Will was naturally talented with firearms, not only using them, but also modifying them as needed." Ander picked up another blade and sharpened it.

Will's eyes flicked to him with gratitude.

"Modifying them, like for different monsters?"

"In part, yes," Ander replied quickly.

"Are all the Soldiers of Night trained with weapons so early?" Her eyes moved to his hands, studying his movements.

"Perhaps not quite as early, but yes, most sons and daughters of soldiers begin training of some variation in grade school."

"Right, because they can enlist at twelve," she almost whispered.

"Okay, we need to get this done," Will stated. "Before I can't do it anymore." He looked at Ander.

Ander nodded, which not only answered his question, but also confirmed he would have the time to cast later.

"Not the ritual again," Maeve groaned.

"Gotta get it done. We're going back tomorrow and finishing this up."

Ander acknowledged his words and gathered the components. Hours later, the ritual was completed. Will had done well, despite his general distaste for rituals. Ander realized an hour into the process that Will was focused for two reasons. One, he did not want to think of his mother's death, and two, he wanted to protect Maeve. Will had never shown such devotion to another female. Ander had to shove the guilt for his inappropriate advances toward Maeve into the abyss of his soul to remain present.

When Will hinted that he craved to talk with Maeve, which meant sex, it did not irritate Ander as he anticipated. Instead, he preferred to flee. Escape from his indiscretions and the implications they pointed to. He had not lied to Maeve. Will was the most important person to him and he had betrayed him by his lack of control.

Wyatt's harsh criticisms filled his mind. He was an abomination not to be trusted. If Will could not trust him, who could? Ander wandered the streets for hours and berated himself while simultaneously going over the spell work he would perform tonight. Maeve had made him want to live, to stay with them, but he was still not worthy of either of them.