Jagged Embrace

Chapter 87 - Maeve

Maeve changed into her pink nightgown, not sure she could go to bed with Will. She was still angry at him. Tonight felt a lot like the night she'd forced herself to sleep with him before, and then she'd thought Ander had left. She was so naïve then, thinking Will's behavior would drive Ander away. Any sane, rational person wouldn't choose to stay with Will. What did that make her?

Despite the lie she told herself, that she was trapped with them, she knew it was a lie. She could leave, stay with other Soldiers of Night, but she didn't want to. Even with Will's cruelty and the discomfort of her relationship with Ander. They were hers and she was theirs. Maeve froze at the thought, thankful there was no mirror in front of her. She doubted she'd recognize the person staring back at her. She shook her head and opened the door.

Will had returned around dinner, well on his way to being blackout drunk. He shouldn't have driven. She craved to yell at him, but still refused to speak to him. Ander had spent most of the afternoon working on something. She hadn't really paid attention. Even so, he was attentive and talked with her when she wanted to. He seemed pleased when she painted her nails pink and ordered lunch for them. Maeve figured she was terrible company because she was moody, but Ander didn't seem to mind. Of course, compared to Will, she was a sunny day at the beach.

Ander tried to talk to Will about returning to the cotton mill, but must have realized it was pointless, because he stopped after trying twice. Maeve tried to ignore how careful Ander had been with his interactions with her when Will was gone. How he'd made sure there was a constant safe distance between them, how he'd almost touch her, but not quite. It was the way things had been when they'd first met. She struggled to push down the pain during every exchange; after all, she caused the reason why he kept his distance.

"Are you going to rest?" she asked with a yawn.

Ander tilted his head up to face her, a brief smile appeared on his lips. "Yes, once I finish this item. Will you be able to rest?" His eyes traveled to Will's bed.

She bit her lip. "Yeah, I'm tired," she answered and then lowered her voice. "I'm sure he'll be, too." Maeve hesitated for a moment before she straightened her back and faced Will.

He'd changed into his sleep pants and stood beside his bed. He reeked of alcohol and cloves, his eyes hard and cold. Maeve swallowed the echoes of six weeks. He should be incoherent and stumbling by the amount of liquor she'd seen him drink since he returned, not even taking into consideration whatever he'd downed while he was out. He made no movement, staring at her with his impassive mask plastered to his features. Maeve took a breath and padded in front of him.

"We doing this?" Will's voice barely controlled his irritation.

She nodded and shuffled around him, sliding her hand into his, turning him toward the bed. He moved stiffly but didn't pull away. They climbed into bed, both uncomfortable, but resumed their typical spooning position. He didn't cup her breast as he was prone to do, but he left his arm draped around her waist. Maeve kept her eyes squeezed shut and reminded herself to breathe. Will put his forehead against her shoulder, gripping her tighter.

All at once, his remorse flooded her. Similar to when she had touched his soul, his emotions were so potent. She was drowning in remorse and something else... he was sad. His anguish choked her, her chest tightened painfully from the ache. The misery wasn't about her, it was much older.

The raw ache left her empty, like a husk. Something had been torn from her. It couldn't be replaced, couldn't be mended. The wound went too deep. She'd never be whole again. No - Will would never be whole again.

Her hand reached for his, gripping it. Did he know he was doing this? That she felt his heartache? She released his hand, turning her body to his. Now both on their sides, as she and Ander usually slept, Will buried his face in her breasts. She held him, running her fingers over his head and shoulders until he fell asleep.