In Another Lie

Chapter 13: Reality check

"I found the owner of your promise ring, Regina." Paulit-ulit na rumirehistro sa utak n'ya ang mga katagang 'yon ni Ali dahilan para hindi s'ya makatulog kahit na napagod din s'ya sa ilang beses nilang pagniniig ni Narda.

Nilingon n'ya si Narda sa tabi n'ya. Ang sarap ng tulog nito at nakadantay pa ang isang kamay sa bandang puson n'ya.

"You look gorgeous even when you're peacefully sleeping, Narda. Kung wala ka lang naiwan na girlfriend at kompleto lang ang memories ko. Maybe we could try. I could really try to love you." Naisa-isip n'ya habang sinusuklay ang buhok nito.

She has never been more confused in her life than this.

"Yong akala ko magmomove on na ako from the past at tatanggapin ko nalang kung ano 'yong nasa present and future ko which you might be included in it saka pa bumalik ang matagal ko ng hinahanap."

"Naguguluhan ako. If I choose you, I should let go of the unsolved puzzle of my past. But if I entertain that person who gave me that promise ring, maybe, just maybe, I can complete my being. But I already like you, Narda."

Gumalaw ito at lalong mas humigpit ang yakap sa kanya.

"Wag mo na ulit akong iiwan, love. Dito ka nalang sa tabi ko." Narda said in an almost inaudible voice.

Ngumiti ng mapakla si Regina. "How pathetic am I to think na may pupuntahan 'to? Who am I to compete with the girl whom you love and you choose to love until this day? Hindi dapat ako umaasa sa'yo ng ganito, Narda. I should not create a scenario where there will be an us kasi may girlfriend kang tunay and that's not me."

Nakatulugan na rin ni Regina ang isiping 'yon.

***
"Breakfast in bed, love."

Nagising si Regina ng halikan s'ya ni Narda sa noo.

"Hmmm. What time is it?" Tanong agad n'ya habang nag-aayos ng sarili.

"It's almost 10 in the morning. Kailangan ka pa sa office mamayang alas 3, 'di ba? I made you flower origami. Sorry wala pa akong maibibigay na bouquet sa'yo at malayo tayo sa bayan. Hindi rin naman kita maiwanan dito ng mag-isa."

Inabot nito sa kanya ang bulaklak na papel. "Narda, you're overthinking again. Thank you. I appreciate this."

"Hmmm. Buti naman nagustuhan mo. Sige kain ka na, love."

'Love' that particular word brought Regina to her senses. Para s'yang binuhusan ng malamig na tubig. "That's not even me." Nasabi n'ya sa isip.

"It's ma'am Regina to you in 30 minutes, Narda."

"Ha?" She looks puzzled.

"Our 24 hours pretend is ending in 30 minutes which means we need to go back to being boss and bodyguard."

Tiningnan lang s'ya nito ng malungkot saka napatango-tango. "I get it, Regina. I guess I hadn't succeded in wooing you to take this to the next level."

Tumaas ang kilay ni Regina habang sumusubo ng hotdog.

"Let's be realistic, Narda. One night stands doesn't mean forever."

Tumalikod si Narda sa kanya kaya hindi n'ya mabasa ang expression nito. Nakita n'ya lang ang pagkuyom nito ng kamao.

"Wag mo akong pakonsensyahin, Narda. It's an adult thing. The norms! Hindi lang tayo ang gumagawa nito. Ang besides you have your girlfriend na pwede mo namang balikan anytime you want."

Regina sounds jealous or will she admit if she is?

"Nagseselos ka ba sa past ko kaya ka ganyan magsalita ngayon, Regina?" Humarap ulit sa kanya pero hindi na n'ya mabasa ang expression nito.

"N-nope! Why will I? Ayaw lang kitang paasahin, Narda. You heard Ali last night. Kilala na daw n'ya 'yong nagbigay ng promise ring ko. I don't want to complicate things. Let's get real, walang nagtatagal na same sex relationships. Nadala lang din ako ng awa sa'yo kahapon."

"Awa? 'Yon lang ba talaga 'yon, Regina?"

"Definitely, Narda. Wala ng iba pa."

Mapait na ngumiti si Narda. "Copy that, ma'am Regina."

"Thanks for the breakfast, I have to take a shower."

"So wala talagang pag-asa na magugustuhan mo rin ako, Regina?"

"That wasn't even the question here, Narda. Kaya mo bang panindigan if ever I give you a chance?"

"Oo naman."

"Kaya mo ba akong piliin if ever bumalik s'ya sayo?"

"Oo naman."

Umatras si Regina. "No! You're only saying that because you need my approval. Am I that vulnerable to you, Narda? Sorry to break your bubble but i'm not."

"Ano ba ang sinasabi mo, Regina. I'm trying to court you, i'm trying to make you fall in love with me. Hindi pa ba sapat na reason 'yon para masabi mong pinipili kita kaysa sa past ko?"

"Then why are you seeing me as her? Magkaibang tao kami, Narda. I am not the love of your life, whoever she is. Stop pretending that I am. Itigil mo 'yang ilusyon mo na magiging ako s'ya coz i'm not. I can't pretend to be someone else. You can't put me on someone else's shoes just for your satisfaction and happiness."

"Hindi ko ginagawa 'yan sa'yo, Regina. Hindi mo naiintindihan ang sinasabi mo."

"Then make me understand, Narda."

Hindi ito kumibo at huminga nalang ng malalim. "Sa tamang panahon, Regina. Just bear with me."

"No, Narda. I'm sorry. Let's just go back to reality and pretend that this didn't happen. We haven't been here. Hindi ako sumama sa'yo. Hindi tayo nagkita ng ganito. Walang nangyari sa atin. Let's go back to the usual us. 'Yong amo mo lang ako at bodyguard lang kita."

Narda cornered her. "May 2 minutes pa ako as your girlfriend, Regina."

"So wh-..." hindi na n'ya natapos pa ang sasabihin ng bigla s'yang kabigin nito.

Narda harshly kiss her. May galit, may inis, may tampo, may gigil ang halik na 'yon. She can even taste blood in her mouth.

"I love you." Bulong nito saka s'ya kinintalan ng halik sa noo. "Sorry, Regina. I'm sorry for dragging you into this shit." Sabi lang nito bago s'ya iniwan. "Mag-ayos ka na. Kailangan na nating bumyahe pabalik sa realidad."

Napasandal nalang s'ya sa pader.

"Narda..."