Again «ZM» ✔️

Part Forty One

Isabelle

The wind is making it feel much colder than it is outside and it makes me disappointed. I wanted to go out for a walk, but I'm not sure I want to now. I sigh as I stand on the balcony. Might as well get all the air now without the walk. My phone vibrates. I get it out of my pocket and get ready to see a message from Vincent, but I see Zayn's name flash across the screen. I open the message. He's asking if he can come back over to my place. I text him a yes. Well, at least I won't be alone, aye?

I slowly walk downstairs when I see him enter the house. I stop in the middle of the stairs when I see tears run down his cheeks. He gets up to me and pulls me in a hug. I wrap my arms around him and frown. I won't ask any questions. Maybe he doesn't want to talk about it. So I just hold him. He tightens his grip.

"Don't cry, my love," I whisper. It kind of scares me because I've never seen him cry. I've never seen him so broken. "Come. I'll make you a tea," I say. He lets me go so we both could go downstairs and into the kitchen. I put the kettle on and take two cups. I make us both the same tea. When it's done, I put it on the table. He's sat by it and he's plopped down on it. I sit next to him. I place my hand on his back and slowly rub it. Well, he's awfully quiet. I don't like it.

"I fucked it all up, darling," he mumbles, "Lilith is now scared of me. I could see it in her eyes. It was the same... When you looked at me this morning. You were terrified. And she was too," he explains. I tilt my head a little.

"She'll get over it. She's a friend. A good friend," I tell him because I'm pretty sure that it's true. She's sticked together with him until now, I'm sure she'll get over it. He sits up straight and looks at me.

"If you can't get over it, how is she supposed to get over it, Isa?" he whispers. And it breaks my heart. I get up and get in between his legs. I cup his face with my hands. I can't believe he doesn't think that Lilith wouldn't forgive him

"I'm all over the past. I'm here now. With you. It doesn't matter if you fucked up in your past. Shit happens and you're not the only one," I whisper to him and place a kiss on his lips. He answers with the same. When I pull away, I give him a reassuring smile. He still looks lost. Sad.

"Can we just... talk?" he frowns trying to search for something in my eyes, "I feel like I don't even know you. I know nothing of your past and it scares me. It makes me get defensive and angry," he explains why he needs to talk. I nod. I honestly get it.

"I've been homeschooled all my life and I hated it," I say and sit back down in my seat, "My mum always said I wouldn't like it in public school. That I'd get picked on and bullied for being filthy rich and spoiled. So I wanted to prove her wrong," I take my cup and have a sip. He takes it as his opportunity to try it too. I get more comfortable in my seat. "I went out with Liam. I liked him, but not that much to be in a serious relationship. But my parents, my father thought it was a perfect match since he was even richer than us. He is richer than us and he has a bigger reputation than us," I look at the cup on the table.

"You looked so happy with him in Las Vegas," he whispers. I giggle and slowly nod. Oh, like hell I was. I was ecstatic.

"I was mostly drunk and high out of my mind, of course I looked happy," I answer, "It got so bad that I had to go to rehab. That's why I really came to New York for. My parents thought it would be better to start fresh here on my, as they liked to call it, journey to being sober," I play with the handle of the cup. I then look at him. He's not crying anymore, he's just silently sitting there, taking it all in. "That's before I and Liam broke up the first time. And it's the first time I saw my parents actually care about me," I say, "When I finished rehab, I dropped down with a phase of depression. It was bad," I look down at my hands again. Right now I just want to hide and cry myself to sleep. What if we break up? What if he uses this against me?

"Did you hurt yourself?" he asks. I can't stop myself from smiling. I look up at him.

"I didn't. Liam did," I answer, "He hit me. Way more than once. I only told my parents that it was once, but it continued every single day. So me and Liam broke up," I frown. I remember so vividly how bad it was on the day that we broke up. "That day he almost killed me. Choked me. I spent the night in the hospital. He said I choked on food and everyone bought it even though I had bruised neck from his hold," I feel myself slipping back into the darkness, "He paid the doctors to not raise awareness," I whisper, "He bribed even my parents. I mean, they didn't do anything about it at the time. They just installed the cameras everywhere in the house."

"Does it help you now?" he asks, "Does it make you feel safer?" he corrects his question. I shrug. Does it? Anyone could easily hack them and delete the unwanted footage.

"It did put Liam away. But it doesn't necessarily help me feel safer. It doesn't prevent someone from just coming and hurting me," I explain, "You could just stab me right now. The cameras would only help with putting you away. They wouldn't help me with the feeling of betrayal," I shrug. He nods motioning that he understood what I meant.

"Come here," he whispers. I look at him and oblige. I get in his lap. He hugs me tight and presses a kiss on my forehead. "Thank you. For telling me," he thanks me. It somehow makes me feel like he's proud of me... Making me feel proud of myself. It's just a great feeling. "Anytime you feel unsafe with me, please tell me. I want to make it as comfortable and as safe as it could get for you," he tells me. I give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks, babes," I quietly say, "I appreciate it," I whisper-add. He smiles and begins to leave many small kisses all around my face making me giggle. Finally we've gotten through this. And we're closer than ever. I hope.