Chapter 37

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This chapter was based on real-life events that I went through recently so enjoy! (I've been an asthmatic since I was 5 years old).

It felt like I had a setback. With my horrible cough, it was hard to go places even though I didn't have a fever and I also had no body aches at all.

"Darling, can you think of any reason why this hasn't gotten better?" Andy asked me as we lay in bed.

We were currently going over a whole list of allergies and things that may have caused me to be diagnosed with asthma the other day at the doctor's. Since I did not have any symptoms of a normal cold or flu, she ran tests and it came out that I have asthma. This could also be the reason my anxiety attacks are the way they are.

"Well she did tell me stress could cause it to linger I mean," I replied shrugging my shoulders.

"How did we get you not to be stressed?" Andy asked.

"Love we've gone over this. I don't know how not to stress if that makes logical sense,"  I replied frustrated. 

My body was sore from coughing. For once, I had slept through a few hours of the night but still, I was tired and wanted just to run away from it all.

Andy could feel the stress in my body. He brought me closer to him. 

"Darling if you need to cry, let it out. It might make you feel better," Andy told me.

"Crying? Why would that help?" I asked as I sneezed into his chest.

"Bless you, darling," Andy replied chuckling.

"Thank you but I don't need to cry," I told him.

Andy pushed my hair off my forehead to kiss it.

"I know you are frustrated and tired but you got to do two things: rest and listen to me," Andy told me.

"I'm resting now, aren't I?" I asked him as I stifled a yawn.

Andy chuckled.

"Darling don't be so stubborn," Andy commented.

"I won't be stubborn I'm just tired of everything love. I'm so sore and like I want to do things but this cough hinders me from doing things," I replied as I felt the tear coming to my eyes.

"Shhhh it's ok darling I promise you it's ok. You need to take a deep breath and center yourself," Andy encouraged me.

And so, I did this as the tears silently fell out of my eyes and down my cheeks.

I sniffled a few times before Andy realized I was soaking his shirt with my tears.

Andy reached over for a few tissues on the side table.

"I didn't realize you would cry so silently darling," Andy replied sadly as he tried to dry my face.

I sat up and grabbed the tissues from him. 

"They were building for a while love," I replied sniffling.

I looked at Andy's shirt and my tears had made a completely perfect circle on it.

"It will dry right?" I asked worriedly.

"Darling it's just your tears," Andy replied as he held my face in his hand.

"I'm just so, ugh, over this," I told him as I reached for my cup of tea that I had been drinking prior to us laying here.

"I know you are darling. Trust me, I know," Andy reassured.

"It's like I know if I rest, it'll get better. But, I have too much to do and so little time and everything feels so guilty and it,  I'm just," I replied as I felt a coughing attack coming on.

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