(Sequel) You and I | 70s Teen Dream Story

Chapter 24

Warning prior to the reading of talks of anxiety and stress. DO NOT READ if this is one of your triggers. I just wanted to explore something different in my books. Thank you! 

Something that was kept part of my normal routine included my weekly trip on Thursdays to do our grocery shopping. Of course, it made me feel like the type of housewife I wanted to be when I was little. Andy made sure I still had my independence which was the best part. He was going to be working on some music while I was gone and also change out his guitar strings since the tuning wasn't fixing the notes he was strumming.

Did I ever imagine who my husband would be? Not in a million years. His brothers were the ones I grew up listening to anyhow.

This week's grocery list wasn't as long except we needed a lot of household items like laundry soap, coffee, dish soap, etc. With that being a majority of my list, I started off in that area of the local Safeway to do the shopping since I didn't want to go all the way into to town to go to the local Walmart.

After I was done shopping, I decided to go ahead and stop at Walgreens for some of my makeup necessities. I was almost out of foundation and mascara and that would be terrible if I had to look ugly. 

While at Walgreens, I spotted a few things I thought Andy would enjoy for his birthday including a bottle of Stenson cologne. 

His birthday was two weeks away and I didn't even know what he really wanted to do to celebrate yet.

After my impulsive stop at Walgreens, I headed home. The only thing I disliked after shopping was putting away the groceries.

I got home just in time as the clouds begin rolling in over the city. One thing I hated was all the rain we were getting this week. 

As I walked up to the door to unlock it, I noticed Biscuit was still in the backyard. Before dragging in all the groceries, I went and put her in her kennel in case the rains rushed from the heavens above.

"Love I'm home," I called from the kitchen.

No response.

I just shrugged it off and decided to get the groceries in by myself.

"That's weird. Andy usually comes out," I mumbled to myself. 

After about 3 trips to my car, all the groceries were finally inside. 

Still no Andy.

I put up all the stuff. I assumed he was asleep. He was pretty tired and overworked the last few days with recording sessions and one interview that he had to do.

I let Biscuit out of her kennel to roam the house. But, she was acting strange as I was finishing up bringing the gifts I had bought Andy to the hall closet to hide them.

"Why are you whimpering?" I asked her.

She bumped her nose against my leg and then sat at our bedroom door.

"Stop being a weirdo," I told her as I went to the bedroom door.

I pop the door open and saw Andy on the edge of the bed with tears in his eyes.

"Love?"  I asked Andy in a panic.

"D-d-darling everything hurts like I don't know what's going on. It's not a heart attack it's just," Andy tried to explain.

"What do you mean everything hurts?" I asked feeling his forehead.

"I-I was just trying to work on some stuff around the house and then my chest started hurting and I just, just could not breathe but like," Andy tried to explain.

"Shhhh love it's ok," I told him as I sat down on the edge of the bed.

I knew exactly what was happening. He was having a panic attack and he didn't know how to go through it. 

"W-what's wrong with me?" Andy asked as I brought his body close to mine.

"Look at me. Take a deep breath in like this," I demonstrated.

Andy looked like a lost puppy. He thought he was dying. I remember when I had my first panic attack that's what it felt like. It still does to this day at times feel like that. 

He took a deep breath and he still looked frustrated.

"W-why do I still feel like this?" Andy asked me.

"You are having a panic attack love. Just let yourself go through the emotions and stop fighting them off. It only makes it worse," I told him.

Andy had a shakey sigh as I held his face in my hands.

"You got to cave into the feelings," I reminded him.

"B-but I'm a man I shouldn't be p-panicking about anything," Andy commented as he closed his eyes.

"They happen out of nowhere now we're gonna get you through it like you help me get through mine," I told him gently.

"Y-you have these?" Andy asked confused.

"Remember when you know something is wrong and I can't explain it? It's my anxiety and depression that makes me feel this way. Even though life may be going perfectly, my fight-or-flight response doesn't know that. Or my triggers cause them to happen,"  I explained lovingly.

"T-triggers?" Andy asked with a quick breath.

"You may have an unknown trigger that officially caused this to come on. Let's go outside to get some air love it may help you recenter," I told Andy as I stood up and held my hand to him.

He shakily grabbed my hand and we headed to walk to our backyard.

Biscuit followed us. Despite the winds picking up, I knew this would help Andy regulate his feelings at the moment.

I walked us to the middle of the backyard. He looked at me confused. The cold air from the wind hit our faces. It would cool down Andy's rising body temperature. 

"Let everything go love. Throw it to the wind," I told him.

Andy closed his eyes tightly and begin doing the breathing exercises I had instructed earlier.

Andy's grip on my hand was tight. He was using me to ground himself from the feelings and panic he was having.

"The tears you have is your body's response and you are letting it go," I calmly stated as I gently caressed his hand with my thumb.

Andy's breathing normalized finally.

Andy untightened his grip and while he was still shaking, wrapped his arms around me.

"Shhhhh," I still told him as I caressed his head as he held me.

"Thank you, darling," Andy whispered.

"I knew exactly what was going on," I whispered back.

"How come you never told me you had these? I can't imagine having them as often as you do," Andy replied quietly.

"Because I never want to be a burden to anyone," I whispered to him.

He took a few moments before replying.

"You could never be a burden to me," Andy replied back.

"Well, we will get through it together every time like we always do. That I can promise," I told him.

"I love you," Andy whispered as his shaking finally began to slow.

"And I love you. We will carry you through love," I told him while I kissed his forehead.

Everything new is scary and being able to help was always my first worry in my life.