human heart | neteyam

twenty-eight

s'more's pov

"get up, our brothers and sisters have returned!" tsireya shook me awake. I groaned. it was way too early for this. "hurry, otherwise I'm leaving you," her foot tapped anxiously against the hard floor.

"fine, i'm up," I was a little confused to who she meant as 'brothers and sisters,' but I didn't read too much into it. so, I stood up; following her outside the hut. "tulkun?" I asked in awe. tsireya's eyes sparkled as she saw them swimming around with happiness. noxta caught up to us as she had just woken up too. "this is beautiful!" I exclaimed.

"here, get on my ilu with me. I want you to meet my spirit sister," noxta pulled my attention away from tsireya. I nodded and followed her. I had wished I could have a bond like this - like the na'vi do with perticular animals. it made me sad that I would never be able to achieve my goal of mating or bonding with another. I did like to think that maybe one day I would be able to, when the time was right. "this is my spirit sister, phoenix," noxta coo'd as we approached her. "she is the composer of love," noxta's eyes glistened as she talked about her sister. it made my heart happy to see how much she had appreciated her.

"she is beautiful," i complimented her. i heard phoenix squeal in happiness as i did so, and in return she did a happy wrap around to say her thank you's . i saw tsireya and lo'ak by her tulkun from a distance. she seemed to be gushing about lo'ak - i had seen her sign to her sister.

"i met a boy," this made me miss neteyam. i wish i could have had the chance to gush about him to someone. even if i had the chance before - it would have came back to bite my in the ass. i sighed as i half listened to noxta talk to her spirit sister. i was once again letting neteyam affect my mood. i hated myself for it.

how could he hurt me so much to the point i'd lose myself but not to the point where i could lose him? he had this hold on me - this hold of love that was so damn hard to get free from. "i'll be back," i informed noxta. she just nodded letting me out of her sight. i felt the sand engulf through my toes causing me to sigh at the feeling.

the sea was beginning to feel like home. i had only wished spider were here to experience this with me. "happy birthday!" tuk caught me off gaurd as she ran toward me. i groaned. i had totally forget it was my birthday. i was so stuck on neteyam, the days started to melt together. i genuinely forgot that it mattered - that i existed. "'my momma says she has a big surprise planned for you tonight," she handed me a flower from her hand. "but this is my present for you," i smiled at her kind gesture.

"aw, thank you tuk," my mind was stuck on what the surprise could be for tonight and i couldn't wait to find out. i also smiled at the fact that neytiri had planned something for me even though i had forgotten my very own birthday. "i can't wait," i ruffled tuks hair before she ran off to find kiri. i placed the yellow flower behind my ear - sadly reminding me of neteyams yellow eyes.

my heart grew saddened at the thought that maybe neteyam had forgot my birthday also - or maybe he hadn't said happy birthday to me because we hadn't spoken to one another. i was hoping it was the second option but it was most likely the first.

i sat down onto the sand; watching the metkayina people bond and catch up with their spirit brothers and sisters. my eye caught a glimpse of neteyam swimming around on his ilu - he too was taking in the beauty that surrounded us. my heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. he had broken my heart but he was still as handsome since the first time i laid eyes on him.

his eyes met mine but i didn't pull my gaze away from him. i admired him from afar. he returned a weak smile - he noticed the flower in my hair. "i am yours," he mouthed. my eyebrows furrowed - was he giving me false hope? "i am sorry," he signed again. i pursed my lips; unable to break my gaze from his.

i felt tears fill my eyes - there was no denying that i was still madly in love with him. i had a feeling that the reason for us ending wasn't because he fell out of love with me but the very fact that he loved me more than he loved himself. i reached my hand out for him. "i'll wait for you," i mouthed back to him. i saw him show a hopeful smile.

i was going against everything i had said but i didn't care. i would wait for him even if it cost me my whole life. i was his - he was mine.

if our love was pure, we would find our way back to one another. he was the love of my life - my twin flame. my life was not complete with out him. i had thought the answer would be to kick him from my heart but in reality it was the complete opposite.

i had to let him fully in. i needed a life that consisted of neteyam - a life with us. so i would wait for him.

i would wait until my human heart stops beating.

—
a/n

she's about to eat everyone tf up .. lemme tell ya 🤭 the surprise is LIFE changing

vote and comment