human heart | neteyam

forty

s'more's pov

the sun began to rise while our bodies still hugged one another for comfort. I felt like a new person and not in a good way. I had thought killing quaritch would bring me some sort of vengeance but it only made the sadness in my heart grow worse. it also killed me knowing that spider had finally bonded with him; our father - just for me to end it as soon as he got the chance to experience what having a guardian was like. I sighed; pulling away from Jake.

we all pulled away from each other, taking in the warm sun that was beginning to beam down on us. I grabbed spiders shoulder to bring him into a hug. "I'm sorry," I mumbled; placing my chin against his head. he just wrapped his arms around my waist and silently sobbed. I looked up at neteyam with saddened eyes. I hated that my brother felt like this - I never wanted this for him, to be sad or scared. I always wanted him to give his pain to me - and I had failed at that. I pulled away from him. "I love you," I grabbed his face so he would look at me.

"love you too," his eyes watery. I just gave him a weak smile before letting my grip go on him.

"let's get her back to the village," Jake mumbled referring to noxta's body. I sucked in a breath at the sight of her laying lifeless on the cold rock. I also still needed to wipe quaritch's blood from my body. I looked to neytiri as I walked up to quaritch's body - she nodded approving for what I was about to do. I pushed his body with my strength, letting his body meet with the Luke warm ocean water. I watched as his body float downward toward whatever was beneath the surface. my heart felt heavy as he began to disappear from my eye sight.

why did he not change his mind once he saw spider and I? was the war really more important than his children? I looked over to spider once again - his eyes looked empty. I knew it would take a long time to get the happy him back but I didn't mind that. I would wait to see his smile, no matter how long it took. I placed my hand to my heart. "you are strong," I nodded to him. he placed his hand against his heart as well.

he took in a breath before closing his eyes. "I am strong," he repeated. I was truly blessed to have him as my brother. so although I hated quaritch - I would forever be thankful that he gifted me such a kind soul as spider. he was such a selfless boy - I never understood why things had happened the way they did to him but I was going to be the big sister he needed from now on.

I felt neteyam's hands on my shoulders; snapping me out of thought. "you okay?" he asked me. I stood up to my feet in response.

"I am okay now, yes," I spoke rather fast but he didn't seem to mind. his hand slipped down to my hand; interlocking our fingers. "let's get noxta back to the village," I managed to speak, without breaking down into tears. he just nodded and led me over to her body. I looked over to Jake for reassurance and he nodded also.

neteyam, Jake, lo'ak, and I lifted her body up. lo'ak called for payakan so that we would have an easier way to get her back to land and he came - no questions asked. I turn to smile at lo'ak. he returned a weak one. so finally, with a sigh we carried her body onto payakan's back. neytiri carried tuk in her arms as she joined us. kiri hand in hand with spider - tsireya following closely behind. we all got onto payakan's back and headed toward the village. "thank you, brother," lo'ak murmured and all that was left to hear was a empathetic squeal.

-
that night..
-

the metkayina people held a beautiful funeral for noxta. tsireya and I carried her body on a lead bed over the water. my heart burned in my chest at the fact that this was going to be the last time I saw her physical body. I sniffled - trying my best to contain my tears from falling down my face. I placed my nose against hers as I let a tear fall onto her cheek. "my girl..." I whimpered. I sucked in a breath; lifting my head up. "ready?" I asked tsireya. she just nodded.

"I love you, noxta," she cried and we dove under the water with her body in our hands. we same down to where my human body had met with eywa - now noxta would too. the algae from beneath took noxta in it's aura. I watched as she disappeared beneath us - I reached my hands out for her. the feeling in my heart burned through my chest. I could practically feel fire erupting from inside me.

tsireya and I returned to the surface and made out way way back to neteyam and lo'ak. without a thought, neteyam took me into his arms and let me cry. he pulled me back and grabbed onto my shoulders so that my attention was on him. "I love you," he said sternly. I just nodded as tears were still falling down my face. "and I am so thankful that you are even standing in front of me right now after what has happened today," his voice cracked. I didn't even have the words to form a sentence. so, I just placed my dried out lips against his. I knew he wouldn't care about my chapped lips and I let myself softly laugh at the thought.

his lips felt like heaven against mine - it had felt like forever since I had last kissed him. "I see you," I coo'd; pulling away from him. he just smiled and reached his hand down to my stomach. I smiled down at his hands against me. "baby..." I placed my hand over his; on my stomach. I looked over to lo'ak and tsireya. lo'ak's smile was weak but he gave me one anyway.

"I'm going to be an uncle," he teased. I pursed my lips; rolling my eyes. although we had been through so much, lo'ak still found a way to lighten the mood.

"and I will be an aunt," tsireya joined into the conversation; wiping her tears away with a sly smile. I returned a smile and pulled her into my arms for a hug. I looked to the other side of me spotting spider and kiri.

"ill be right back," I dismissed myself and let my feet travel toward them. "you guys doing okay?" I asked spider and kiri. kiri just nodded.

"I am doing okay sister, you?" she asked me. I sighed and leaned my head against her shoulder for comfort. one thing that would never get old was the comfort that you would get just from simply being around kiri - and I admired that about her.

"I will manage," I reached my hand out for spider; pulling him into our arms. he sighed at our touch. "ah, my baby brother, my life," I mumbled. I was finally at peace with everything. noxta's spirit was free with eywa and I had my brother in my arms.

I had neteyam - my neteyam and my unborn child. everything I could have ever wished for had finally came true.

and, I would cherish it for the rest of my life.

—
authors note- don't mind spelling errors !! and also we are coming toward the end of the book.. the next few chapters will just be fillers as they are just continuing life outside of war.. but i know you guys want to see pregnant smore

so i will deliver.

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