After leaving his small hometown Evergreen Beach to live in the big city New York Nick's life changes drastically. Since starting on ADHD meditations Nick went from happy and funny to emotionless and rude. And as well as joining a very dangerous gan...
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Written: 18 February 2023.
This chapter is messy. And please remember the first few chapters are always dull and boring it only starts getting good a few chapters in. (When Nick enters *wink wink*)
Enjoy. __________
I watch the red E flicker with acid rising in my throat. I can't be late. I just can't. I have to be home before midnight.
Home.
See for most people home is a safe place where you spend time with family and relax. Where you're free from all problems and worries. Where you smile and laugh. A place that you can't wait to get too.
Not for me.
My home is not safe and I don't spend time with family or relax. My home is just another problem and more worries. I have never had one real smile in it or even let out a little laugh. And I try my best to spend most of my time away from it.
In my home you wouldn't hear the calming sound of laughter or talking. And you definitely wouldn't feel at home.
And it's all because of Papa.
He is the reason for that. Papa and his grief.
Papa loved Mama. In fact he loved her so much he wanted her all to himself. So it should come as no surprise that when she found out she was expecting me he went crazy with anger and jealousy.
Mama had already been 28 and papa 30. But in his eyes they weren't ready... He wanted her all to himself.
He didn't want me. But Mama did. And Papa wanted her to be happy. So that's why he allowed her to keep me. But sadly that led to her death. After giving birth to me, Mama only had enough time to give me my name before she died from complications of birth. Leaving me with him.
Papa was ready to give me up for adoption. But my Nana Maggie wouldn't let him. She insisted on him keeping me. She wouldn't let him get rid of me.
If only Nana knew by making him keep me she made my life ten times worse than it would have been in a foster home. Gosh, it would have been better if I were to live on the streets. But she made him keep me.
Papa started beating me. At first it was small things for small reasons. Such as a back hand for a broken glass or a kick for not doing my homework. But as I got older the beatings got bigger. Suddenly it was a belt to the back for coming home even a minute after curfew. Or a fist to the jaw for talking back and even a hard kick to the stomach for asking for something I needed.
I was covered with bruises eighty percent of the time. The other twenty was when he knew Nana was coming. And that was only on big holidays such as Christmas and Thanksgiving.
He didn't just abuse me physically but mentally too. He would shout and call me names. He has been telling me it's my fault Mama died since the age that I could fully understand him.
