WangXian Forever Book 9: The Flower Demon

Chapter 61 Wistful

Lan Zhan wasn't saying anything.

The only sign that Wei Ying got of his being affected was the trembling of his hands and how he held onto Wei Ying. He was looking down.

Wei Ying held his breath, giving Lan Zhan time to process what he had just offered. He knew already that Lan Zhan was close to his mother, that he had been devastated when she had passed away, so the whole idea of being able to talk with such a loved person…it could go either way.

Wei Ying also knew that XiChen also might want to talk to her…but her spirit was near the Jingshi where she had lived all those years ago…and he might be slightly biased if he wanted Lan Zhan to have first choice.

"I would like very much…to talk with her." Lan Zhan looks up finally.

"Oh….Sweetheart…" Wei Ying gathers him close.

He has never been okay with seeing Lan Zhan cry, even though he understood why.

For Lan Zhan, he could count on his fingers, the times when he had needed to lean on someone. He tried not to, mostly because he believed that the older he got, the more he should not have to, regardless of circumstances.

But with Wei Ying, it was an unspoken agreement that they could find solace in each other whenever the need arose.

Like now.

He had never needed a hug so badly.

There was so much going on in his head, that Lan Zhan needed a moment to really think about it.

The void left by his mother's death, and more because of the uncertainty surrounding her leaving, it was huge. Lan Zhan only realised now how much he was still affected by her going away so suddenly, out of his life.

And how much that single event had structured his own response to Wei Ying’s return.

Not his death in his former life…Lan Zhan had been devastated by that, too. But even more importantly, when Wei Ying returned, it explained how terrified he was that something would happen, that somehow, Wei Ying would be taken away from him again.

That thought stole his breath at the raw pain he felt.

But Wei Ying was here to stay.

He knew that. And maybe by talking to his mother, it might offer him some much needed closure. Perhaps, she too, would be able to move on, to her next life.

And before she left, he wanted her to meet Wei Ying.

More than anything else.

It would be great if she could speak to XiChen, too, and their children.

"I want SiZhui to come here…tomorrow." Lan Zhan says quietly.

"Whatever you need, my love." Wei Ying continues to stroke his hair lovingly.

"And…we should tell XiChen. Tomorrow." Lan Zhan tells him. "Xiongzhang…will want to tell Uncle."

"Uncle?" This surprised Wei Ying. "I didn't think they were that close."

"I want him to apologise." Lan Zhan said.

He sounds angry.

Wei Ying doesn't say anything more, because everything that happened regarding Madam Lan was before his time. He has no context for how Lan Zhan is feeling right now.

But if there's anything he is an expert on, it's people who have crossed over onto the other side.

Death was difficult for those left behind, but in some cases, even harder for those who experienced it first hand.

He has met so many different people in both of his lifetimes, both alive and dead. The latter was a variety of many personalities, each one different than the last, and no two were the same.

He cannot say how Madam Lan will react to anyone, or if she will be how these people left alive after her passing, will expect her to be like.

So he offers the one thing he can.

"You can ask her. If she would want that." Wei Ying kisses his temple warmly. "When would you like to do it?"

"Tonight?" Lan Zhan’s answer is immediate.

"Alright, Sweetheart. Let's go home."

**************

Rumi had fallen asleep on the way home, and Li XiWang was already yawning when they returned to the Jingshi.

Wei Ying and Lan Zhan helped them to bed, and Lan Zhan was relieved not to have storytime tonight. He didn't think he had it in him to be anything other than thoughtful and pensive, and Wei Ying was definitely internally distracted.

Thankfully, both children never noticed, tired out by playing after the picnic outdoors.

When Lan Zhan closes the door of the children's bedroom behind him, he's surprised to see Wei Ying sitting down at their table, having brewed fresh green tea in two cups. He gestures towards the empty space next to him.

Lan Zhan sits down, raising a brow as he makes himself comfortable.

Wei Ying thinks about what he wants to say.

"Spirits are…more subtle than us humans. Their bodies are made up of the thoughts and wishes of the life they left behind. There is usually a lot of resentment, too." He says carefully.

This was the main reason why he was able to control so many fierce corpses, so many dead.

He already had a healthy respect for those who had passed away.

"So, because they feel everything so much more powerfully than we do, since there is no buffer. It is a concentration of feelings." He reaches across to cover Lan Zhan’s hand with both of his own. "And because of this, and because you were so close to your mother…it would be good to think about what you would like to say to her. When you meet her again." He explains.

Lan Zhan nods.

It's a fair point.

"Will Wei Ying help me?" He asks, looking into granite eyes lit up by candlelight.

They appear like liquid metal, alive and full of understanding.

Wei Ying has never seen Lan Zhan look so vulnerable before.

So he climbs into his lap.

This is the only place, the best place for them to be, right now.