Lover

Kabanata 12

In the midst of driving to our manor.
My thoughts left me pondering on possibilities of what if I died last year? Who will sit the longest on my grave?

And my answer is my sister. She is someone who loves me dearly because she always claimed that I am still her baby sister even after years and years. I will remain her baby Rue. Not that I am saying that my parents loved me any less. I just know that it would be my sister who will camp in my grave to talk to me and even said things about why I left her all alone. Because I know my older sister so well.

And with that, I am happy. Pero may mga bagay pa rin na magiging kaiba kung iba ang estado ng lahat. What if I grew up in a toxic household? Who will constantly leads me to where they want me to go? Those people dragging me into pedestal for their own benefits? Magiging sigurado pa ba ako kung sino ang pupunta man lang para dalawin ang puntod ko? Ang sagot ay hindi ko alam.

But I am thankful because I grew up with a healthy environment. My parents and relatives are supportive. My sister is my bestest friend who constantly calls me up and texts me with what's up.

Pero hindi ko din ba alam kung bakit may mga taong kailangan ipanganak sa toxic household? Bakit kailangan nilang naranasan ang mga bagay na 'yon? Kasi ako nga na nag-iisip lang kung paano kung nararanasan ko ang bagay na 'yon ay parang gusto na sumuko. Ano pa kaya yung mga taong nakakaranas ng ganun sa araw-araw na ginawa ng Diyos?

And that's what makes me more humbled. Kasi hindi ko alam kung sino sa mga nakakasama ko ang may mga ganung problema. You just need to be more kinder to people  even though they are not. Everyone deserves some kindness.

And I consider myself as one of the luckiest because I got so much in life than other people. So, I don't there's a space for toxicity.

***
Hindi ko din halos namalayan na nakarating na pala ako sa manor. We often call this Blue House. Not because it is blue, literally.  But this is the second largest property that we have. And the largest was coded under the White House in Batangas. 

This almost an hour and half drive from my condo. I took a few things from my condo kanina after driving Professor Villafuente home.  At hindi pa ako naghihilamos at hindi ko na ulit hinawakan ang mukha ko simula kanina dahil baka mawala yung pag-kiss niya sa pisngi ko.  I don't even know what I am doing. Pero ayun ang sabi sa nabasa ko online. Kailangan mo daw i-preserve ang  kiss ng crush mo para i-crushback ka. Buti kamo ay mas pinili ko na mag-sesrch kaysa magtanong sa mga pinsan ko.

Ayokong maging center of attention at ako ang maging subject ng kanilang pang-aasar.
Hindi na ako nagdala ng damit dahil may damit naman ako doon. Ang uniform ko lang ang dinala ko dahil may pasok kami bukas
at pang second period ang class niya.

Speaking of being in the manor, for sure ako lang ang dadayuhin ni Ate dito. She is also my human diary. She knows how much I liked Professor Villafuente. She was teasing me so bad. Na tanggal daw ang angas ko sa Attorney ni Retired General Villafuente. Na nakasama niya pala sa convention nila noong nag-aaral pa siya sa States.

Ate Louise told me that the Retired General is a big softie but very wise and strict in field. Which I can agree on. He is a very wise man. Makakasundo niya si Dad.  While Mom will be best friends with Mommy Delinae. 

Parehas silang mahilig sa music. I just recently found that Delinae Villafuente is pianist and a retired music teacher in Juilliard.

Kaya pala ganun na lang yung connection namin.

Palagi ko na lang nakakalimutan na iuuwi na si Nixx bukas. And I am very much excited. I miss that boy. He is the best companion ever.

I miss being in the manor kahit na puro magugulong parte ng pamilya namin ang nandito.