Lover

Kabanata 40

Prenteng naka-upo ako sa couch habang bukas ang TV.  Agad naman akong napatingin sa TV at sakto namang pag-flash ng news.

Red Tuazon and Ruelle Constantine was  spotted at Euphoria. This is not the first time they are spotted together and almost too intimate and even sweet to each other. Some are speculating that they are very close friends or even dating. But let's wait for their response.

This stupid news immediately ruined my mood. Kararating ko lang sa Pilipinas at ganito agad ang salubong sa'kin.

Uno, was kind enough to support me. He is persistently courting me ever since I went to America to teach in Harvard University.

It feels amazing because he was the first person I liked. We were almost an item before so it feels nice that he is back. But we never I will look around. Her eyes haunts me. Her soft voice haunts me whenever I hear something playing that is close to her liking. She is everywhere.

And it hurts so much. Especially, how much she moved on. It's been five damn years. And that's the reason why I can't go home. Masyado niya akong sinanay sa mga bagay na kahit ako hindi ko alam na hahanap-hanapin ko. Her, playing my favourite songs in the piano. Slow dancing in the kitchen while she will sing for us. Her, randomly buying my favourite snacks because she knows how I love it.

Ilyich Ruelle Constantine anong ginawa mo sa'kin? Bakit parang ngayon iniintay ko na lang na sana may chance pa tayo.

How much it hurts knowing you are true to your words na you don't like insisting. And it would be impossible for you to come back to my arms as if nothing happened.  Yung ideya palang na 'yon ay talo na ako. My doubt ate me. Especially, I am seeing how she fitted like a glove in your world. Parehas kayo ng mundong pinanggalingan.

“Revie, you okay?” Tanong ni Mom na kalalabas lang ng kitchen. Nag-insist siyang magluto kahit sinabihan ko na huwag na mag-abala but Mom is mom so hindi talaga ako nanalo.

“I am fine, Mom. And It's not about her,” I replied, dismissively.

“I am not even thinking that it's about El, love.” Natatawang kumento nito. At agad na gumapang ang mainit na dugo papunta sa aking pisngi. Damn that stupid news.

“Speaking of El, pumunta 'yon dito nung nakaraang araw. Mas maaga nakipag-bonding sa Papa mo dahil nga kailangan niya samahan si Red.” Masayang kwento ni Mom habang ako naman ay nag-iintay sa susunod na sasabihin nito tungkol sa Red na 'yon. Ano 'yon bata at kailangan pa samahan? Kastigo ng utak ko.

“What do you want me to do, Mom?” I asked in monotonously.

“Nothing. At saka, kahit hindi na naman kayo ni El ay hindi naman siya nagbago. She is still the cool and sweet young woman just like before. Kung paano niya kami samahan ng Dad mo nung kayo pa ay ganun pa rin naman ngayon. I am just happy that she never break her words. Noong sinabi niya sa'yo noong nanliligaw pa siya sa'yo na kahit kami ay araw-araw niya din liligawan kahit pa hindi mo siya sagutin o kahit maghiwalay kayo. And El is happy. Tinutukso nga namin siya kay Red pero tinatawanan lang kami.” She said softly.

And by that, the same feeling of guilt spread in whole being. Parang kung ano ang naramdaman ko noong nagbreak  kami.

“Mom, are you happy that El is still around?” Tanong ko dito.

“Oo naman. El is almost my own daughter.” Sagot nito at ngumiti lang sa akin. Pareho ng ngiting ibinigay niya noong ibinalita ko sa kanila ni Dad na kami na ni Ichi.

“Nanliligaw po si Caspian sa'kin,” Imporma ko dito ngunit hindi nagbago ang reaksyon ng mukha niya na parang alam niya na ang sasabihin ko.

“Dalawang taon nang nanliligaw diba?” Tanong nito at ako ay tumango lang.