Lisa
"It's not fair, it's just not fair. The weeks have flown by." Jennie says thickly, while cuddling in more to my side, her tears had been falling for a while now. Normally one of us would pick up the other and go park somewhere. Today though, we'd both driven our own cars.
"I know sweetie, I know." I say trying to be strong for her. My throat is burning from the tears that I'm keeping suppressed right now. Tomorrow, I leave for university, over a hundred miles away from her. "I want you to go to university and have the best time ever. Go and meet new people, be open to relationships with other girls."
It kills me to even say that. The thought of my Jennie with someone else is an actual physical pain but I want the best for her. Even if that's not with me.
"I don't want anyone else. I love you too much." She chokes out.
It takes me a moment to compose myself. With my face to the ceiling of the car, eyes clamped shut and teeth grinding so hard against each other that even diamonds could form. "Give it time and you will find someone else, Jen."
"Do you want to be with other girls?" Jennie asks. She's not asking if I'm only ending things so I can date others. After nearly two years together, she knows that is not the case. What she's really asking is, if I will find it easy to start dating someone else, like I'm trying to encourage her to do.
"I love you so bloody much that I want you to be happy, even if that's not with me. I know we will see each other again in the future. But I don't want you waiting for me. You need to live your life."
She shuffles around, while locking eyes with me. "You promise we'll see each other again?"
I know that I shouldn't answer this, it will only make things harder. Yet everything in my gut is telling me that we will be together again one day. The only part I don't know is when that day will come. "How about I do you one better? If neither of us are in a relationship by the time we hit... I don't know, thirty, we'll get married."
"Be each other's back-up?"
"Yeah. Jennie Kim, will you do me the honour of being my back-up?" I ask holding her hand over my heart.
For the first time tonight, I see a smile on her face. I drink it in, memorising every little detail. "Yes."
We kiss to seal the deal.
"Now, I'm going to kiss you one more time then, I'm going to get in my car and leave." I say, while starting to lose my composure. It was that last kiss that took me over the edge. I knew that if I didn't leave now, I would find myself following her to university. "You're going to have an amazing life, Jen."
She nods and we lean in and kiss again. Our tears mixing in with the passion. I tear myself away, allowing one final quick peck before I let go and jump out of the car. With great difficulty, I rush to my car and drive away.
