Jennie – 10 years ago
I'd been in denial about this day, for a long time.
Applying to universities, and then going to the open days, it became clear which one was the one for me. Just being on campus felt like I was at the right place. I couldn't tell you what was different about that university to the others, other than it felt like the place that I was meant to be at.
Unfortunately, Lisa got that feeling at a different university, one that's a hundred miles away. We were looking at different courses and the universities that we were applying to, were the best for our respective courses. After talking until we were blue in the face, we came to what we think is the adult thing to do.
We're going to break up.
Of course, it's what neither of us actually wants but a hundred miles is a long way to be away from each other. Lisa argued that if we try long-distance, we'd eventually break-up in a blazing argument, both resenting the other. Logically I can see her thinking and agree. The emotional part of me though has gone 'lalalalala, it's not ever happening'.
Hence the denial.
Now it's results day, in my hand I hold my passing grades and a confirmation email from my first-choice university. The future just got very real.
I've seen a few of my friends and have put on a happy face. My mum is telling every parent that she knows about my results. Yet I still haven't seen Lisa.
Then a text comes in.
Lisa: Fancy going for a drive later? Xx
In that moment, I know that the end is near.
When we both passed our driving tests, we'd decided to take our make-out sessions to the car. We'd go for a drive somewhere and park up. A few spots had become our regular. So that night, we parked at our favourite spot near the beach and cuddled up together in the back seat.
"So, you got into your first choice and I got into mine. Come this time next month, we'll be moving to different cities." Lisa states, with her arms wrapped around me tightly counteracting the robotic way she just spoke. I tuck my head into her neck, while fighting back my tears.
"Yeah. I know we have decided that this was the best for the both of us but it didn't feel real until I saw the confirmation email."
"I know. I love you and I can't imagine not being with you. But the reason still stands why we need to call an end to this. If we try long-distance, we'll grow to hate each other and I love you too much for that."
"Being an adult sucks." I sulk, while wiping my eyes. "Do we have to end it now or can we enjoy what little time we have left?"
"I don't plan on letting you far out of my sight until it's time to leave."
