Lisa
"I've told you; I'm not interested in dating. My priority is and will always be Ella. I don't have the time or effort to bring someone else into our lives." Jennie states. Hae-in had taken the kids upstairs to play, so Jisoo, Jennie and I were in the kitchen with the open bottle of wine.
Everything was going lovely, until I had the bright idea to ask Jennie out. Well not out, out, but it would be just me and her.
I have my rugby presentation coming up, and I'd made sure that I had the day off work, so I could go. I'd missed enough training and games over the season due to work that I was determined to make it to the presentation. They were a good bunch of girls and I would have been fine going alone. Accept there was one girl, who I'd stupidly had a one-night stand with about a year ago and she wouldn't leave me alone. I knew what she was like before that but I was going through a rough time at work. Drowning my sorrows after a game, I found myself needing human contact and she was there. Now, I can't seem to get rid of her.
My mouth worked before my brain could catch up and I was asking Jennie to be my plus one. Outlining a plan of her pretending to be my date to keep this girl away. All she picked up on, was the date part. I think I almost had her agree to come before I said date. She was a bit nervous about going to a place in which she didn't know anyone, I told her 'Strangers are merely friends that you haven't made yet.' In return I received a look telling me to stop being a smart arse. Then I said date and she freaked out. Ignoring the fake part of the sentence.
And now Jisoo and Jennie were in a heated argument.
"But you need to take time for yourself as well." Jisoo argues.
"Jisoo, it's fine, if Jennie doesn't want to date, let her stay single." I say calmly.
"Thank you." Jennie says smugly. She has no idea where I'm going with this and I can't wait to see her reaction.
"I can wait for two more years." I smile.
"Two years? What happens in two years? My priorities won't have changed in that time." Jennie asks confused with a hint of frustration.
"Wow Jen, you wound me. Are you saying that you don't remember what happens when we turn thirty?" I ask in mock seriousness.
She stares at me in utter puzzlement, until slowly her eyes widen before slamming back into narrow slits. "You're not seriously holding me to that?"
"I see no reason not to." I say fighting off the smile threatening to take over my face.
"We were eighteen."
"That means we were both legally adults and therefore entered into a legally binding verbal contract."
Jisoo has been bouncing back and forth between us during this little battle but suddenly finds her voice. "What happens in two years?" she asks eagerly.
"Jen promised me that if we are both single when we turn thirty, that we'd get married."
"Haha! I love it." Jisoo laughs.
"It's not happening." Jennie yells at her cousin. "And you!" She says turning her full attention on me. "Stop encouraging her. Short of holding a gun to my head at the altar, I will not be getting married in the next few years."
Shit, I haven't received that face in a long time but instinct clicks straight in. "Sorry." I say thoroughly cowed.
"You're just backing down." Jisoo asks in shock.
I shrug. "I can see that I've gone too far. I'll be going now." I get up and head to the door, but before I can walk through, I stop. "Jennie, I hope you know me well enough to know that I would never force you to do anything. You're bringing that kid up right, I'm so proud of the woman that you've become. You're right though, we're not teenagers anymore."
And with that, I need to let go of my teenage flame for her. She's not the same girl that I dated back then. Ten years of change has happened since then. Ten years that I was not around for. For years, I've held out for the hope that we'd meet again. That it would be like no time had passed and we could jump straight back into the relationship. A foolish, childish dream indeed.
I know I said to Bambam that I barely thought about her over the years but she's held residence in my head for over a decade. I've ruined relationships because I've been secretly waiting for her. Hurt perfectly lovely ladies in the process. Never letting myself catch feelings too deep, just in case she came back into my life. I've been so foolish. How did I not see this before?
I told her to go out and live her life and that's what she did. She's had long-term relationships with other women. She even have a little child now.
She followed my advice.
So, why didn't I?
Damn Bambam for being right, she's the one, she's still the one. Now, I just need to figure out how to convince her that I'm still the one for her. I'm not going to do that by going in with guns blazing. I'll need a different, and slower approach. We started as friends all those years ago, so hopefully, maybe, she'll let me be her friend again.
"Lisa, wait." Jennie calls. My hand freezes on its path to the front door. Turning around, I find us alone in the hallway but would I put money on that Jisoo is having her ear to the kitchen door.
"It's not a date. I'm not even sure how to be friends with you anymore, but I'll go with you."
It's a start and I'll take it. "You're going to have fun, I guarantee it."
"We'll see." She says with a soft smile.
"Thank you." I say seriously. We both stand there in silence for a moment before I say goodbye to her. I don't want to push my luck any further. But I've got my in and I couldn't be happier.
