Lisa
I stand in the doorway to what is now Jennie's room and watch as she gives Ella a kiss good night. As Jennie starts to tip-toe out of the room, I step back to make space for her to pass. She gently pulls the door closed behind her. It took a further week to finally pack Jen and Ella's meagre belongings and move them into mine. After an eventful day of unpacking, Jisoo, Hae-in and the boys had left and now it was just the three of us.
"She's so adorable, Jen."
"Thanks, I don't know what I'd do without her now."
"Come on, let's go have a drink together to celebrate your first night here." I say heading to the stairs.
With a drink in hand each, we settle down on both ends of the sofa.
"So how did you come to be a single mum?" I ask. Partly to get the conversation started but I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a part of me wondering if a father figure was going to turn up one day.
"I didn't choose to be a single mum. I was engaged." She says quietly.
I'm not going to lie; it hurts to think that someone other than me had planned to spend their life with her.
"What happened, if you don't mind me asking?"
She takes a sip of her drink before answering. "I had two girlfriends during university. The first one was only a short thing towards the end of first year. Then I met Deb in my second year. After we graduated, we moved in together. We got engaged a few years later. Deb suggested we try for a baby sooner rather than later. After all, couples try for years before they fall pregnant and we were using sperm from a donor bank." She laughs humourlessly. "Not me. No, I was pregnant within a few months. We put our wedding plans on hold because Ella was due around the time we had originally planned. Everything seemed to be going well. Until a week before my due date."
"You don't have to say anymore if it's too hard." I jump in when she pauses.
"No, it's fine. Deb left me." She smiles wanly. "Apparently it was too much responsibility and pressure happening too quickly."
"You're shitting me." I blurt out, not expecting that answer. "What a bitch. She suggested you try for a baby and when you did, she ran because it's too much responsibility and pressure? You don't suddenly get to change your mind when the baby is nearly here."
She shrugs. "She's the one who proposed as well."
Who is this woman? How dare she do this to Jen. I'm just glad Ella doesn't have this woman in her life. My hands clench and unclench. I want to track this Deb down and give her a good old kick to the behind. The worst part is that I blame myself for letting Jennie go out into the world to find someone else. Would this have happened if I hadn't ended things? Could we already be married and Ella could be my daughter as well. I guess I'll never know.
"It completely came out of the blue. By the end of the night, I was in labour. Jisoo rushed to my side and Ella was born in the early hours of the following morning. A week early but thankfully she was completely fine. By the time I got out of the hospital, Deb had moved out."
I shake my head in disgust. How selfish can someone be, to leave Jennie to go through labour on her own? Her daughter's birthday will forever mark the occasion when her engagement ended. As much as I don't want to think about it, Jennie was with this woman for five years. I only had two years with her and still I would do anything for her.
"It was difficult at first. I had to find somewhere cheaper to live because the only income I had was maternity pay. Then when it was time for me to go back to work, I had to find child care for Ella. But we were managing, I've spent the last few years wondering what happened? Where did the change of heart come from? Did I push Deb too hard?"
"I'm telling you now, this is all on her."
"It's nice of you to say but you weren't there."
"Jen, I may not have been there but I know you. I don't want you to take offence but you are a bit of a push over. The only time I really saw you stand up for yourself when we were dating was when I wanted to come out. Scared the shit out of me when I thought you were going to break up with me. Then again you seem surer of yourself now."
She sits there staring at her drink and I worry that I've ruin things between us on the first night.
