Lisa
As I wait for my dates, I remember the aftermath of my coming out. Rosé was a better friend than I deserved. Even though I couldn't tell Rosé who my girlfriend was, that night we talked openly, making me feel closer to her than ever. She never once tried to trick me into revealing who my girlfriend was, she just supported me. Till this very day, she still doesn't know about Jennie. I should really call her soon; it's been a while since we talked.
That can wait though, because my dates are coming down the stairs.
"I'm getting hungry." I announce. We were starting the day at an indoor play area. Ella was let loose on the equipment while Jennie and I sat enjoying a cup of tea each. We were keeping each other entertained by swapping memories from high school. Laughing at some of the things that we got up to, cringing at the moments that we almost got caught.
"Yeah, I'm getting hungry too. Ella's had a good hour here." Jennie says. "Can you go get her?"
"Yeah, no problem." I jump up and look for Ella in amongst all the equipment, while trying to get a glimpse of her. Ah, there she is. "Ella, come get your shoes on please."
"NO!!"
I freeze in shock; did she just tell me no? Jennie bites her lip to keep the smile from forming, with her eyebrow raised. The look clearly one asking what am I going to do next.
Taking a breath, while surreptitiously shaking my limbs loose. Okay, I can do this.
"Ella, come put your shoes on." I say, while mustering up a stronger voice.
"NOOOOOOOOOO! NO SHOES!" She yells, with her tears forming, feet stomping, and her little arms thrown above her head before dramatically throwing them back down. Who the hell is this child? I've never seen her act this way before.
I look back to Jennie for help. "You're the adult, remember." Is all she says.
I nod my head. Ok, I'm the adult. I can do this.
I crouch down in front of Ella.
"Ella." She grunts at me, with her bottom lip poking right out.
"Ella, enough of these silly noises. Now, go and put your shoes on." I say, while keeping as strict a face as I can and with my voice totally stern.
"Mummy!" She cries, while rushing off to Jennie.
"Oh no you don't." Jennie says, sitting Ella on the table in front of her. "Don't come crying to me, Lisa asked you to put your shoes on and you didn't. That was naughty." Ella sits there with her little head down, while Jennie shows what a brilliant mother she is. I'm totally in awe of this woman. "Apologise to Lisa."
"Sorry, Lili." A little mumbled voice says.
"Apology accepted." I say. My first instinct was to say 'don't worry about it' but that would just make her think that her earlier behaviour was acceptable.
"Now, are you going to behave while I put your shoes on?" Jennie says, while keeping the same authoritative tone.
She nods sadly, as Jennie pushes her shoes onto her feet.
Ella falls asleep in the car as we pull away from the indoor play area. The car is silent apart from the radio.
"Ready to run for the hill yet?" Jennie asks, while keeping her eyes firmly on the road with a little vulnerability leaking out.
She thinks that I want to run because of one tantrum?
"Nope."
If anything, that just makes me want to stay around more. I want to learn how to deal with those situations. Be a parent figure to Ella as she grows up, because I do want to watch her grow up. I want to help and support Jennie in raising this little girl.
"So that tantrum didn't scare you off?"
"I know it may be weird but no it didn't." I say honestly. Keeping the part about wanting to co-parent with her to myself, it is our first date after all.
"For what it's worth, you did good, you handled the situation really well." She says, while throwing a smile my way, before looking back to the road.
"Thanks. It completely threw me though; I've never seen her act like that before."
"I've noticed. The look on your face was priceless." She chuckles.
"She's just always been this sweet little thing; I didn't expect it from her. My nephews and niece on the other hand are just brats."
"I hate to tell you this but she's no angel. That is not the first tantrum, it's not even the first tantrum since we've moved in with you."
"I've just never seen it before."
"Because you've been fun Lili, who lets her get away with things, today you were the adult."
"How do you do it, Jen? It was so hard with the tears and that little lip sticking out. I just wanted to gather her up into my arms."
She laughs, "You're such a sap." Parking the car safely in the restaurant carpark. With the ignition turned off Jennie talks. "I've had two years' experience at being a mother. Learning on the job. There are times when I want to give in and give her what she wants. Sometimes, it's just to stop the screaming. But I've got to keep in mind that she's learning as well. Her communication and understanding skills are still very limited. These are the parts that they don't tell you about having kids. Yes, they bring all this joy to your life but you're responsible for raising them. For making sure that they turn into decent adults."
I grab Jennie's hands with my own. "You are doing an amazing job. If she could, she'd tell you that you make her feel safe and loved. I watch you and just want to learn from you. I'm here for the both of you, in any way that you'll have me."
She looks into the back seat, taking in her daughter, who is still sound asleep. My words still swimming in her eyes. The soft smile on her face when she looks back at me makes my heart skip a beat. She gives my hands a gentle squeeze. "This is a good first date so far." She says softly.
The smile takes over my face. "Really?"
She gives a little nod before we both move together. The kiss is soft and tentative but full of promises.
