"Servant in a Suit"

Chapter 1: Playgirl era

"Hi there, Miss. Can I buy you a drink?" Pinasadahan ko ng tingin ang babaeng tumabi sa akin sa may bar counter.

Hot s'ya ha? Pero halatang playgirl. Tss!

"Sure." I offered my cutest smile.

I saw her eyes sparkle. Her eyes... It's like my ex's eyes. Those dark gaze... that look that will promise you happiness but in the end iiwanan ka rin. You'll end up hurting and broken.

Ang mga tipo n'ya ang dapat binibigyan ng leksyon. Hindi nararapat seryosohin ang kagaya n'ya.

"I know what you're thinking, playgirl. Yes, I can play your game but you have to play by my rules." I played with the hem of her button downs pero ang totoo ang sarap n'yang sakalin. Nakakagigil.

"And what rule could that be?" Bulong nito sa tenga ko as she nibble in it. It brought shiver to my spine and it heightened up my lust.

"Don't dare fall in love with me."

She grinned until she is laughing hard. "Of course. I never fall in love easily. I will never fall for you as you wish and i'll make sure of that."

"Let's see. I'm Regina and you are?" I offered to shake her hand but she grab my head and planted a kiss on my lips.

"Julia, my loves, Julia. I'm sure you'll remember my name all your life." She winked at me.

"I'm sure it'll be the opposite, Julia." I chuckled.

"Let's find out then. Your place or my place?" She asked as her smile widened. She grab me by the hips as she let me feel her heated and arroused body.

"Your place." I grinned.

I'll make sure that you'll lose your own game, playgirl. Let the games begin.

_____________

"Rej! Hey! Rej! Talk to me please! Regina!" Sigaw ni Julia mula sa labas ng bahay ko.

"Tss! Eskandalosa."

Bumangon na ako dahil kanina pa ako naririndi sa pagsigaw n'ya. Baka magalit na ang mga kapitbahay ko sa ingay na ginagawa n'ya sa labas.

"What?" Naniningkit ang matang lumabas ako ng gate at hinarap s'ya.

"Rej! Talk to me naman oh. I still need you, Rej. Please be my girl pa." She tried to get a hold of my hand but I didn't let her.

"I thought nagkaintindihan tayo, Julia? My rules are clear lalo na 'yong pinakaimportanteng rule. I told you not to fall in love with me, pero alam ko at nararamdaman ko na you already broke that rule kaya I need to stay away from you. I'm sorry. We're done."

"Rej! Please! I'm sorry. I'll try not to. Just come back to me."

Napahalukipkip ako when she get a hold of my leg as she knelt on the ground.

"You're talking nonsense, Juls! How can you unlove me that easily? Hindi ako naniniwala na kaya mo! Why? Dahil matagal ko ng gustong makawala sa pesteng damdaming kagaya 'nyan! It's been a year yet I still feel the pain of being left behind. Iyong kagustuhan kong kalimutan na s'ya ng tuluyan at pilitin na huwag na s'yang mahalin pero hindi ko pa magawa kahit na isang taon na ang nakalipas! Ikaw? Isang linggo lang akong nakipaglaro sa'yo pero sineryoso mo na ako. Kaya nga ganyan ka na lang kung magmakaawa at ngumawa kasi nahulog ka na sa akin! So stop bribbing me to get back to you dahil hindi na 'yan mangyayari kailanman!"

"I'm begging you, Rej. Promise susunod na ako sa rules mo. Promise! Hindi na kita mamahalin ng seryosohan. Manatili ka lang sa buhay ko. Please!"

Tumawa ako ng nakakauyam. "Alam mo, Juls? Pinapatawa mo na talaga ako. Dalawa tayong naglaro. Iyon lang, you lose kasi you break the rule and I succeeded because I followed it. I win the game and i'm satisfied with the outcome. Bakit ko pa papasakitin ang ulo ko sa'yo? We're done. Bye, Julia!" Kumawala ako sa pagkakayakap n'ya sa legs ko at pumasok na sa gate.

"Rej! Regina! Please naman oh! Please give me a second chance!" Halos gibain na nito ang gate sa lakas ng pag-alog nito.

"Enough, Julia! Nakakaistorbo ka na. Please leave! Nakakahiya na sa mga kapitbahay ko. I told you! I'm not the type of girl to get serious with! Iba na lang, Juls. Hindi ako." My last words for her before I enter the house.

I close the door and enter my room. Umupo ako sa isang tabi, niyakap ang mga tuhod bago tumungo sa mga ito at umiyak.

You expect me to laugh, right? You expect me to brag this to my friends, right? But I can't. I just can't... because deep inside, I'm still hurting severely.

This is the only revenge that I know. This is the only reason why I still choose to live... ang gantihan ang mga nananakit para malaman din nila kung gaano kasakit ang mapaglaruan at masaktan.

My phone rang. Dad is calling...

I grab it and looked at the screen. Pinahid ko ang mga luha na naglandas sa pisngi ko bago sinagot ang tawag.

I answer it yet I didn't say a word.

"Anak, can I talk to you?"

I didn't respond. How can I? I don't know what to say.

"Anak, please come home. Your mom and I are worried about you."

"I... We miss you, anak. We heard about what had happened between you and Gabby."

Still, I didn't respond.

"Anak, hindi ka namin sinisisi sa nangyari. Hindi ka namin susumbatan kung 'yon ang inaalala mo. Just come home."

"Anak, please sumagot ka naman. We want to see you. We want to be there for you. Susunduin ka na ba namin?"

"Regina! Hay! Just contact me when you're ready. We love you, anak."

I turn off my phone at mas lalong humagulgol ng iyak.

"I'm sorry, dad. I'm really sorry." I wanted to say those words but I can't. My lips tightened. My heart wanted to burst out but my mind is holding it back.

Gustuhin ko man... I can't. Pride ko na lang ang meron ako. Ito na lang ang nananatiling sandalan ko para mabuhay sa araw-araw. Kasi ang totoo, wala na... I don't have anything. Ni wala na akong mukhang maihaharap sa kanila. I had been too boastful, too proud and too conceited. Sobra akong nabilib sa sarili at isiniksik sa isipan ko na kaya ko kasi may sasandalan ako or so I thought. Ngunit sinampal ako ng katotohanan na wala. Wala! I'm alone in this. Sarili ko lang ang meron ako. Pero alam ko kung may choice nga lang baka pati sarili ko iniwan na rin ako dahil sa kagagahan ko.

Kahit masakit, kahit mahirap kinakaya. Sinusubukang ibangon ang sarili sa sariling pamamaraan. Ayokong idamay ang nanay at tatay ko sa kagagahang ginagawa ko. I decided with my own will, i've choosen this path kung kaya't I need to suffer the consequences ALONE.