٩꒰。•‿•。꒱۶
Drino WangI remember I was five years old nang lumipat kami sa bahay namin ngayon. According to my mother, kailangan daw ibenta 'yong dating bahay namin kasi that was the time na, unfortunately, na-bankrupt 'yong family business nila papa.
My mother even told me na kailangan munang ibenta rin 'yong ibang mga laruan ko pati 'yong sa kapatid ko, which was at that time, he was a three-year-old kid. I did cry, eh laruan ko mga 'yon, eh! Ingat na ingat ako sa mga 'yon, dami kong old memories, to the point na ako pa naglilinis! Besides, sinong 'di iiyak eh dalawang malaking boxes 'yon?
Mas malakas nga lang 'yong iyak ni Bryle sa 'kin at parang at that time, malakas na yata 'yong sister's instinct ko kasi I remember telling my mother one night, days before ibenta mga laruan namin, without hesitation, na akin na lang 'yong ibenta lahat, huwag na 'yong kay Bryle. Tutal mag-aaral na rin ako, no need to play na lagi. I needed to start growing up, not really rushing it, though. Niyakap pa nga ako ni mama n'on while caressing my hair and she even reminded me na babawi silang dalawa ni papa sa 'kin 'pag gumaan-gaan na 'yong life situation namin.
Growing up, I witnessed kung gaano ka-hardworking magulang ko to the point na kinailangan nilang huwag matulog agad. I didn't even had the chance to know kung ano-ano 'yong mga ginawa nila just to provide for our daily needs at mapag-aral ako. Lagi rin kasi akong sinasabihan ni mama na matulog agad. Bryle and I used to share room. 'Pag wala parents ko, ako nagbabantay sa kapatid ko na 'yon. After ko naman umuwi galing school, inaaalalayan ako ni mama para mabantayan ko si Bryle, at si mama, para makatulong kay papa.
I even saw my mother crying while hugging papa one night kasi his mental health was at stake. Every time nga na uuwi ako galing school, the smell of the alcohol and cigarettes na agad 'yong malalanghap ko. My mother never fails to remind me na doon kami mag-stay sa kuwarto, telling us to play, not sa sala.
My mother was there assisting him, helping him to live. Hindi niya iniwanan si papa at his darkest point of his life. She accepted him wholeheartedly. Together, they did all they could to sustain and nurture our family.
Kaya gan'on na lang ka-intense 'yong desire ko to be this hardworking para makatulong na rin ako sa kanila after I graduated. Isa talaga 'yon sa naging drive ko para seryosohin 'yong pag-aaral ko— family. Even if, most of the time, hindi ko na-a-appreciate sarili ko, just thinking about my family always gives me the reason to continue what I started and reconnect me to that dream of being financially independent someday— not just for myself, but also for my family.
Incrementally, my parents did succeed. Unti-unting umayos 'yong buhay namin, unti-unting iniwanan ni papa 'yong alak at sigarilyo not just for his health, but also for us. Dahil sa savings nila, through the unwavering discipline of my mother in terms of budgeting and my father's continuous hard work, unti-unting pina-renovate 'yong bahay namin ngayon. Weekly, because of the fruit of their labor, my parents even make sure na may family bonding kami. Sabi nila, para daw lumalim 'yong relationship namin. They always remind us to love each other.
May minsan pa nga na nakakasama namin Dayrit family since magkapit-bahay lang naman at magkumare't magkumpare sila. Magkababata kasi silang lahat, nabanggit one time ni mama. I don't know the whole details about it. Nasabi lang din sa 'kin ni mama na si tito Emil daw nag-recommend kay papa noon na lumipat kami sa bahay namin ngayon, the lot was for sale.
Doon na nag-start 'yong connection namin ni Mark.
Magmula elementary, high shool, senior high school, hanggang college, lagi akong inaasar ni Mark. Eh ang tahi-tahimik niya nga lang n'on n'ong hindi pa kami close! Yes, may times na pinoprotektahan niya ako, pero madalas niya akong inaasar at ang sinasabi pa nga niya, "Ang dali mo naman mainis, bata."
Now, who would have thought we would reach this point?
Una magulo, yes, pero as we discover our feelings, unti-unting nagkaroon ng saysay.
Now . . . we're already together— we give love to each other.
After we posted the announcement for our relationship, having this caption, "kahit saan, sasamahan kita," it felt like I was introduced in a new world.
We agreed kasi the night we went home na sabay namin ipo-post 'yon at 12 A.M. Para ngang may intense energies na nagwawala sa sistema ko that time, palipat-lipat ako ng puwesto from my bed to my study table! Maya't maya pa nga 'yong tingin ko sa time sa apple clock ko. Ang bilis-bilis ko pa ngang kumain. May alam pa nga akong pakanta-kanta n'ong nagsha-shower ako! Like, seriously, I freaking love the feeling of being in love! Mark even videocalled me 10 minutes before 12 A.M., asking me kung ready na raw ba ako. He even shyly admitted na kinakabahan daw siya and I told the same thing. Napa-smile na nga lang kami pareho. Sinabihan pa nga niya ako na nandito siya for me, wala dapat akong ikabahala.
I don't know why it felt so weird to feel that way. Aware ako na hindi naman end of the world 'pag hindi namin na-announce 'yong relationship namin. Hindi rin naman ako bothered sa kung ano magiging reaction ng mga tao. Ang full attention ko nasa relationship namin. It just felt so special to me to be able to experience all the emotions connected in our relationship. It also felt comforting and . . . liberating to finally share to the world, proudly and fearlessly, that Mark and Celine is existing— love as their direction.
I wanted to treasure all of that. I wanted all to be deeply engraved in my heart. I want to experience everything with Mark.
He even called me again bago kami matulog. Ang saya-saya lang ng boses niya. He was so hyper that he even danced, jumping like a child. My heart was so warm to witness how love can affect a certain person. Things you wouldn't imagine doing, but because of love, you wouldn't hesitate doing. Sometimes silly, yet heartwarming. All the efforts expressed for love.
Smiling, while looking at him, dancing, I said I would dance with him. He then offered his hand and I gladly accepted it. We danced together in a slowmotion like we were in a trance of love. Even despite we were not together physically, I still felt the love we communicated. A dance for love, always ready for love.
٩꒰。•‿•。꒱۶
Drino Wang
BINABASA MO ANG
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