Love Maneuver (LOVE TRILOGY #2)

✭ LOVE MANEUVER ENDING ✭

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Drino Wang

Three days after the trip we had. Si Kate, as usual, a social media enthusiast, nag-photo dump lang naman ng mga pictures namin, especially pictures nila ni Khalil. Todo comment pa nga si Khalil sa post niya with heart and kiss emoji pa. I just simply smiled knowing my previous self na asar na asar sa mga taong nag-e-express ng love nila publicly. Now I'm experiencing love, gets na gets ko na 'yong feeling.

I admit, I just realized that there was a contradiction in me. My hypocrisy na 'di dapat tularan. And what was that about? You see, I hated love, bitter sa love life ng iba because of what I experienced. Not because may nanloko sa 'kin or what, but because of my own self-- I rejected love.

Dumagdag na lang as factor 'yong external influences like the voice of society rushing me to love. But the truth? I struggled more internally. Kaya in order to comfort me sa kagagahan ko, I projected my frustration sa experience ng iba when it comes to love, instead of facing it more internally. To make it simplier: nanisi ako ng iba.

What was the hypocritical thing about that? Eh I've been desiring for freedom to love. So bakit ko pinakikialaman 'yong ibang tao how would they choose to love? Bakit ang lakas ng loob kong sabihin na nagmamadali sila, treating it as a trend, race, or necessity? Na 'kala naman nila mauubusan sila? As if I'm saying na invalid 'yong choice nilang 'yon.

But, yeah, shits happen in our life. The good thing is aware ako. I learned from it and that's what matters. I have to acknowledge what I've learned in the process while navigating life. I have to acknowledge that imperfections are normal.

Although for me, I still think na importante pa rin na kapag nagmahal ka ikaw dapat talaga 'yong nagdidikta sa sarili mo paano ka magmahal, instead of letting other people control you.

It's good to think na may mga taong willing i-share 'yong wisdom na na-acquire nila from their heartbreak experiences and from the love itself to guide others, but I'm hoping na huwag nilang i-impose 'yon in a way of treating it as the only valid or superior kind of love, and then they would dismiss other kinds, adding label to it that this kind of love is just bare minimum.

Why would it be a bare minimum if at that point of time, that certain person did their best to love based on what they know?

Why it is considered less kind of love just because that person happened to not meet your standards?

Why do we measure love according to what we acquire from the relationship as if treating love as something that could be bought? Hindi lang umiikot ang love sa word na "provide" or "serve me." There are other words in love like, "accept," "understand," "appreciation," "accompany," "unconditionally," and "give."

Do we only love for us to receive love?

Is Mark less kasi gan'on lang siya based on the societal thinking when it comes to love?

At bakit naman magiging "gan'on lang siya" 'yong mindset natin?

I'm sharing this perspective not to dismiss people who knows what they want to experience in love, but let other people be informed that the kind of love you wish to experience isn't the only thing that we could call real love.

Afterall, we are all here to experience love and learn from it. Our experience differs. Same feeling, but different stories. Same feeling of love, but a whole completely different world. Our love experience are all valid. Nagiging complicated lang naman ang love dahil sa mga label na nilalagay na 'tin like better or worst.

And in love, growth isn't linear. Someone's capability of love isn't dependent on what their current way of expressing love. Kung nakikita mo namang tina-try ng tao 'yong best niya, we may learn to appreciate and try to grow with them in the process. Not in a way that you'd hate them for not being enough for you because of certain standards.