Hailee Steinfeld imagines

Hurts like Hell | LAST PART *

words count: 2,082

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y/n's pov

   𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐄 was there. At my place. It's been months since I last saw her face but I have to say... She is even more beautiful than before if it's even possible. I know I promised myself to forget about her, to forget about everything that reminded me of her but I'm weak and weak people try but fail. Her song kept replying in my head, her song was haunting me and I bet she did that on purpose so that whenever and wherever I hear that song, I'll think about her and her only. It was hard to forget about Hailee because we used to love each others so deeply. I used to fall very hard and very fast and this is what happened. I was attached to her, obviously, she was my girlfriend. I was in love with her. I planned everything with her. We even talked about getting married once... But it's all from the past and I don't want to go back in that unhealthy era.

   𝐒𝐇𝐄 brought us to the room she knew the most. We used to have make up sex there.. But the bedroom changed a lot. I said I wanted to forget about her so I had to change everything that reminded me of her and the bedroom was the main thing.  I didn't want to fall into her little trap, I didn't want to let her having her way with me. At least, my brain didn't want it. But my body...

   𝐘𝐎𝐔 know, loving yourself helps sometimes. You make yourself feel great. You can only love when you're doing it alone because you know it pleases you. But on the other hand, once your body tasted another hand, another feeling, others experimentations... Your body will always craved them. No matter how many times you will repeat to yourself that you don't need someone else, pictures of the times somebody pleased you invade your brain and obviously, when your brain is touched, your whole body is affected to. Especially the principal element: your core.

   𝐎𝐔𝐓 of breath, I pushed Hailee away. She looked at me, confused, as I grabbed my shirt on the ground and put it back on. She looked at me, without speaking though.

"What?" I looked at her, confused as well. "You thought I'd have sex with you?"

"Well, I— I... Yes..?" She stuttered, looking now at my eyes.

"You cheated on me and you think that I forgot? You think that I'm gonna pretend like nothing happened? I forgot about you but your fucking song just brought back those damn memories we made!" I sighed, pressing my hands into my hair.

"That's the whole point. That song was supposed to.. haunt you. To make you think about me so you won't forget me. It may sounds toxic but... That's what I wanted. I always want you, Y/N. I swear. I know that what I did was more than a mistake, that it's unforgivable but I am truly sorry. When you released your song, 'Hurts Like Hell', I immediately knew that it was about me. I know that I am probably your biggest enemy at the moment but, Y/N, all those months without you made me think a lot. I still love you, Y/N/N. I never stopped loving you. I didn't know how to show it.. And for that girl, I— honestly I don't know what happened. Really. Everything went so fast and I didn't know what I was getting myself into. You have to believe me, Y/N. I never wanted to cheat on you or to hurt you. I promise, I'm so, so, so sorry.." Hailee rambled as she stared into my soul, trying to find some sort of good reaction from me. I sighed and looked down. So many thoughts were invading my brain and I couldn't think properly nor process the informations Hailee just told me.

   𝐈 sat down on the edge of my king sized bed and played with my fingers. The sun was starting to set, the view that I had from my bedroom was unbelievable. Big windows so I could see the whole Pacific Ocean. The sunset always has been something I enjoyed to see so when I built that house, I needed to be able to watch the sunset and the sunrise on the ocean from my bed.