Maturing in Love by Rhizome Olivia Quondam

Mistakes, Accidents, and Negative Conflict and Behavorial Patterns

It's not an accident or a mistake if it's repeatedly done and/or said. This is especially true after the problematic behavior has been officially addressed. It's a bad decision and a negative conflict and behavioral pattern then. Once you address a problematic behavior with someone, it is up to them to stop saying/doing the problematic behavior.

It is not your responsibility to baby another adult, who isn't listening, at the expense of your peace. They know better. They are accountable for what they say and do, not you; you don't have to accommodate problematic behavior.

It's okay to set boundaries, and kick someone to the curb, until they kick a bad habit. You can't control what another person says and does. You can control access to yourself though.

Stop means stop. No means no. "I can't respond right now; I will respond later" means "I can't respond right now; I will respond later." I can't handle this means that I can't handle this. I'm overwhelmed means I'm overwhelmed. I don't want to do this/that means that I don't want to do this/that. I'm not comfortable with that means that I'm not comfortable with that. Don't let anyone project their opinions or wants onto your feelings. You have emotional needs.

You don't have to justify/defend your boundaries after you explain/express them. If they truly cared about your feelings, which are always valid, they would change for the better. How you feel is how you feel; if anyone tries to dismiss, invalidate, or argue with your feelings, instead of listening and respecting you, they're the problem.