Maturing in Love by Rhizome Olivia Quondam

Apologizing

I have no problem apologizing for my wrongdoings (whenever I am wrong), or for the impact of something I did/said that hurt someone's feelings. Regardless of my intentions. Even if I was/am right.  Within reason. As long as the goal is conflict resolution, and not just someone's spite, pettiness, or revenge. And maybe reconciliation too, but only if that is realistic and the relationship is healthy. *This is only as long as someone says it to my face, and not just behind my back, and listens to my side like I listened to theirs.

I am willing to even apologize first, but if we both were wrong/hurtful, we both should be apologizing, not just one of us. I had to teach myself to stop apologizing for everything ever went/goes wrong. I had to stop volunteering as the scapegoat for things other people did, which I self-sacrificed for just so there could finally be some peace again. A 50/50 split is holding both people accountable for their specific faults in a relational situation.

*It is 100% your responsibility to fairly approach someone with an issue you have with them, and you are not allowed to get angry at them for your decision to withhold your derision from them for whatever length of time you do hold a grudge; once you do respectfully disclose the fault, then it finally becomes a 50/50 split. You specifically, and only you, are responsible for communicating this to the person in question, not your messenger. No one is obligated to try to read your mind to then chase you down. Expecting people to do so is unrealistic and unreasonable. Then, If either party refuses to appropriately resolve the revealed conflict, the (aggressive/avoidant/passive-aggressive) dissenter is to blame for the failed conflict resolution; that dissension could be due to one party demanding unreasonable solutions, or due to one party causing unreasonable resistance to the other's reasonable proposed solutions.