Advocacy/Awareness Post: Narcissistic Abuse

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Advocacy/awareness post (the links are references, but not my original sources compiled over the years):

"Narcissistic abuse" is a abuse done specifically by abusers who have either true narcissism or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). I am going focus solely on the true narcissism in this post, and leave NPD to the professionals to explain. What makes "narcissistic abuse" distinct from the general (psychological, emotional, sexual, financial, sexual, verbal, isolation, and neglect) abuse is the purpose of the abuse. Generally, abuse is all about power, but "narcissistic abuse" is about the narcissist using their victims ("narcissistic supply") to fulfilling the narcissist. The "narcissistic abuse" is the parasitical relationship between the true narcissist and their "narcissistic supply", where the narcissist empties-out their victims to feel complete. True narcissists lack empathy, but they are naturally good at faking empathy and other emotions to appeal to their victims. They are good at understanding people, and fit-in, and that's why they are able be high-functioning. They do have feelings, and can make genuine connections, but it's not like normal people. The vanity of the Greek myth of Narcissus and Echo. Beware of "narcissistic rage" and "narcissistic discard" when narcissists cannot have their self-serving way. Victims of "narcissistic abuse" can develop C-PTSD.

Additional references:
- https://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2017/11/11-devastating-signs-youve-been-abused-by-a-malignant-narcissist/
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201709/how-spot-narcissistic-abuse
- https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-narcissistic-abuse/
- https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/9-tips-for-narcissistic-abuse-recovery#self-compassion

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"Narcissistic mask"

The narcissist mask is a narcissist's disguise of normalcy. It's their "charm offensive." When their "mask slips", they accidentally reveal their true nature, often due to "narcissistic rage" from "perceived slights".

Additional references:

- https://exploringyourmind.com/three-masks-pathological-narcissism/
- Ignore the irrelevant political tie-ins: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201307/what-goes-behind-the-narcissists-mask

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"Hoovering":

"Narcissistic hoovering" is when narcissists test you to figure out whether or not you will allow them to return in your life, so they can continue their narcissistic abuse of you ("narcissistic supply").

Healthline: "Got an Overbearing Ex? They Might Be Hoovering
1. Random contact
2. Manipulative apologies
3. Reaching out on big days
4. Dramatic declarations
5. Excessive gifts
6. Overpromising
7. Using others
8. False crises
9. Spreading gossip
10. Making accusations
11. Ignoring the past
12. Threatening self-harm"
https://www.healthline.com/health/hoovering

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Narcissistic mirroring and psychological projection explained:

"Mirroring" is narcissists reflecting back your interests and passions. Basically, (to remove the sarcasm of my grandma's version of 'to each their own'), "If you like it, I love it". They have so much in common with you that it's too good to be true.

"Psychological projection" is when people project your motives, beliefs, perceptions, faults, weaknesses, strengths, standards, expectations, and so forth onto you. You become the projection screen for their made-up mind.

Additional references:

- https://narcissistfamilyfiles.com/2017/10/03/the-narcissists-funhouse-of-mirroring-and-projection/
- https://pro.psychcentral.com/exhausted-woman/2015/04/eight-mental-abuse-tactics-narcissists-use-on-spouses/
- https://blogs.psychcentral.com/narcissism-decoded/2017/09/14-thought-control-tactics-narcissists-use-to-confuse-and-dominate-you/

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