Mediators are not supposed to take sides, except in cases of threats, violence, crime, and abuse. Safety first. The mediator's job is to enable both both/all conflict parties to either manage a conflict, or solve a conflict, with fair and impartial judgment. If the mediator picks a side, and it's not a case of one of the exceptions, it's self-evident that you don't have a trained mediator.
Mediators are there to make sure that the conflict parties efficiently and effectively manage a conflict, or resolve a conflict, by themselves. The mediator isn't supposed to manage a conflict, or resolve a conflict, for the conflict parties, like a judge would. Mediators enable successful communication for an agreement.
You can't be biased and mediate. You have to listen to both/all sides, and use your training to guide you in mediation. If it a case of one of the exceptions, you have to use your training to approach the mediation in a way that protects the victim, yet allows both/all conflict parties to tell their side.
Honestly. If it's one of those cases, mediation may not even be a viable solution; legal action might be the only way to handle this. If it is any of those cases, reconciliation is ill-advised. That is why it is important to understand the conflict goals.
The mediator needs to be sensitive to the fact that lying, passive-aggressiveness (ex. backhanded compliments), coercion, dismissiveness, gaslighting, and other negative conflict and behavioral patterns could be occurring.
Emotionality is another factor to consider in facilitating. That may or may not cause hyperbolic speech and exaggerations. If the mediator has a cognitive bias of 'who is to blame', and a delusion of 'I know exactly what happened' (despite not even being a witness), before both/all parties are heard, that isn't mediation; that's triangulation. In cases of triangulation, request an actual trained mediator, not the layperson in question.
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Maturing in Love by Rhizome Olivia Quondam
Chick-LitMaturing in Love is an anthology guide of adulthood with poems, stories, essays, and blog posts about mature themes, learning self-love, adult-relationships, social issues, and life lessons from growing older. *The blog posts are topic introductions...
