Maturing in Love by Rhizome Olivia Quondam

Love Island (U.S.) Season 2 Response: Controversial People

As a communication and English double-major, and a survivor of abusive relationships, here's my assessment of some of the controversial cast: episodes 1-21.

Johnny: He's a manipulator with narcissistic characteristics. He cheated on Cely with Mercedes because he's self-centered. He's a hypocritical gossiping busybody. He got frustrated that Cely was upset with him for cheating on her, with Mercedes , because it was taking away too much time for his and Cely's "relationship progression". He also was the original bully, who started the slandering of Mackenzie's reputation. He should have just told Mercedes no, and then held that boundary, instead of messing around with her; he told Cely the classic cheater cliche, that "I was thinking about you the whole time". He needs immediate cognitive behavioral therapy.

Connor: He needs therapy to learn how to process and then express his needs and wants, pronto. He is a grown man, not an innocent child. There is no excuse for him: making commitments to Mackenzie, then expressing relationship concerns to everyone but Makenzie, and then once again reassuring her about their relationship (once she confronts him about hearing about his feelings from others). He's not the victim, and he seems almost two-faced. His avoidance behavior and people-pleasing behavior is toxic to Mackenzie. His constant flip-flopping is what was destabilizing their relationship. Of course, Mackenzie felt insecure and misunderstood with him. He needs to learn how to communicate his feelings asap; her having to constantly ask him what he really wants, take the lead, and reassure his insecurities, made her look like the bad guy. That's not fair to her all since he gets to have his cake and eat it too.

Jalen: He's a psychopathic narcissist. He completely overreacted defensively to a 'perceived slight', when his behavior was actually the problem, not Mackenzie's. He 100% should have just sympathized, apologized, and then moved forward. He had pretended to be Mackenzie's dream man, pretended to be the exact opposite of Connor, and offered himself as the perfect solution to Connor's lack of consistent honest communication with Mackenzie. After successfully deceiving/manipulating Mackenzie, in a complete 180 attitude, he immediately started to pursue Kiersten. While doing this, he made couch-potato-critic accusations against Mackenzie (based on his perception of Mackenzie's and Connor's televised relationship), and also he trashed-talked Mackenzie to the other guys. That's an actual "red flag", Jalen. He should have just communicate with her, instead of invaliding her legitimate suggestion, and vilifying her, since he was 100 in the wrong. She just wanted to spend more time with Jalen moving forward, because they had just become a new couple(24 hours ago), and they hadn't had that much one-on-one time yet to get to know each other. Jalen committed emotional/psychological abuse acts, such as of triangulation, poisoning the well, isolation, playing the victim, and gaslighting, against Mackenzie. He was the relationship problem, exploiting Connor's flip-flipping, to get-into the villa. Jalen provided a perfect portrayal of narcissistic abuse.

Mackenzie: She needs cognitive behavioral therapy for her insecurities asap. She was indeed overreacting a lot sometimes. However, both Connor's flip-flopping behaviors, and Jalen's bait-and-switch behaviors, triggered all of her deep-seated insecurities. She had no idea what was going on, or that there was even relationship problems; she was the last to know, since she was the last one told, by both Connor and Jalen. Unstable relationships take a mental toll on the confused in-the-dark partner. That's why while Connor was away, and while Jalen was being her fake-suitor, Mackenzie was noticeably mentally/emotionally stable and happy again. All the girls noted this difference. Mackenzie has a highly reactive personality defect, which is why she definitely needs therapy.

Moira and James: She didn't know what she wanted, and she has poor communication skills in romantic relationships. James should have listened the first time, because no means no. He is absolutely fully responsible for his outbursts, even though he had the right to feel betrayed and abandoned by Moira. She was suddenly avoiding James, since she 100% did want to leave James for Calvin after the date, which was a complete 180 from before the date. Moira proved with Calvin and Aaron too that she is wishy-washy. She blows hot and then cold. She need more alone time being single. She clearly has still not recovered from leaving an eight year relationship with her childhood sweetheart, before the show.

Note:

I had to quit watching after episode 21, because Jalen triggered my abuse trauma. What he did to Mackenzie should have disqualified him; he should have been immediately removed from the villa by production. The show needs professional counselors available to the cast, scheduled couples counseling, and a psychological evaluation of all applicants members before they are casted. They are indirectly helping abusers traumatize people, just for the sake of cheap drama.