Maturing in Love by Rhizome Olivia Quondam

Advocacy/Awareness Post: Physical Abuse and Sexual Abuse

*trigger warnings*

Physical abuse:

If you have ever tried to fight back, how did your abuser react? Some abuser are more likely to murder than others. If your abuser has hospitalized you with severe injuries like concussions, broken bones, and etc...defend yourself (protect your head and neck with your body), and then escape when it is safest next, but DO NOT fight unless you have to preserve your life. DO NOT try to use a close combat weapon that can easily be taken from you and then used against you. If you aim a gun at your abuser, make sure they believe that you are willing to shoot to kill, because threatening your abuser with a gun will escalate the situation, if they think you are bluffing, they disarm you, and/or if they take possession of the gun.

Helpguide: "Physical abuse occurs when physical force is used against you in a way that injures or endangers you. Physical assault or battering is a crime, whether it occurs inside or outside of a family. The police have the power and authority to protect you from a physical attack."

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm

Love is Respect: "Physical abuse is any intentional and unwanted contact with you or something close to your body. Sometimes abusive behavior does not cause pain or even leave a bruise, but it's still unhealthy. Examples of physical abuse include:
* Scratching, punching, biting, strangling or kicking.
* Throwing something at you such as a phone, book, shoe or plate.
* Pulling your hair.
* Pushing or pulling you.
* Grabbing your clothing.
* Using a gun, knife, box cutter, bat, mace or other weapon.
* Smacking your bottom without your permission or consent.
* Forcing you to have sex or perform a sexual act.
* Grabbing your face to make you look at them.
* Grabbing you to prevent you from leaving or to force you to go somewhere."

https://www.loveisrespect.org/is-this-abuse/types-of-abuse/

LoveisRespect: "Escaping Physical Abuse
Start by learning that you are not alone. More than one in 10 high school students have already experienced some form of physical aggression from a dating partner, and many of these teens did not know what to do when it happened. If you are in a similar situation:
* Realize this behavior is wrong.
* Talk to an adult, friend or family member that you trust.
* Create a safety plan.
* Consider getting a restraining order.
* Do not accept or make excuses for your partner's abusive behavior.
* Remember that physical abuse is never your fault."

https://www.loveisrespect.org/is-this-abuse/types-of-abuse/

***

Sexual abuse:

*trigger warnings*

Your feelings of being uncomfortable and so forth about unwanted sexual advances are valid feelings. It's your body.

Helpguide: "Any situation in which you are forced to participate in unwanted, unsafe, or degrading sexual activity is sexual abuse. Forced sex, even by a spouse or intimate partner with whom you also have consensual sex, is an act of aggression and domestic violence. Furthermore, people whose partners abuse them physically and sexually are at a higher risk of being seriously injured or killed."

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/domestic-violence-and-abuse.htm

LoveisRespect: Sexual abuse refers to any action that pressures or coerces someone to do something sexually they don't want to do. It can also refer to behavior that impacts a person's ability to control their sexual activity or the circumstances in which sexual activity occurs, including oral sex, rape or restricting access to birth control and condoms.

...
LoveisRespect: It is important to know that just because the victim "didn't say no," doesn't mean that they meant "yes." When someone does not resist an unwanted sexual advance, it doesn't mean that they consented. Sometimes physically resisting can put a victim at a bigger risk for further physical or sexual abuse.
...
LoveisRespect: Some think that if the victim didn't resist, that it doesn't count as abuse. That's not true. This myth is hurtful because it makes it more difficult for the victim to speak out and more likely that they will blame themselves. Whether they were intoxicated or felt pressured, intimidated or obligated to act a certain way, sexual assault/abuse is never the victim's fault.

https://www.loveisrespect.org/is-this-abuse/types-of-abuse/

LoveisRespect: "Some examples of sexual assault and abuse include:
* Unwanted kissing or touching.
* Unwanted rough or violent sexual activity.
* Rape or attempted rape.
* Refusing to use condoms or restricting someone's access to birth control.
* Keeping someone from protecting themselves from sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
* Sexual contact with someone who is very drunk, drugged, unconscious or otherwise unable to give a clear and informed "yes" or "no."
* Threatening someone into unwanted sexual activity.
* Pressuring or forcing someone to have sex or perform sexual acts.
* Using sexual insults toward someone."

https://www.loveisrespect.org/is-this-abuse/types-of-abuse/

https://www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/other-types/physical-abuse

https://www.dshs.wa.gov/altsa/home-and-community-services/types-and-signs-abuse