You're Losing Me (Lost Hearts Duology #1) | ✓

Chapter 1

Ciela's POV

Pag uwi ko sakto at bumungad sa akin si tita.

"Maghugas kana 'dun. Bilisan mo." utos niya na ikinatango ko.

Agad akong naghugas ng mga pinggan at naglinis na din ng buong bahay.

Nakatira ako sa bahay ng tita ko. Si mama umalis para daw magtrabaho pero ending is lumandi ng ibang lalaki. Sabi niya hindi naman daw magtatagal pero umabot ng 10 years. Hanggang sa nasanay nalang kami na wala siya.

We cut each other's connection kaya hindi ko alam kung nasaan siya ngayon or kung kumusta siya.

She abandoned us. If totoong ina siya saamin hindi niya gagawin 'yun. Mga bata palang kami at kailangan namin ng gabay niya pero pinili niya ang kanyang sarili at umalis.

Si papa naman, he is physically here but emotionally and mentally absent.

Ang pakiramdam na nasa paligid lang siya pero hindi naman nagpapakita ng pagmamahal bilang ama. Parang kapatid lang ang turing saamin. He was like a mere ghost who prioritize himself.

Masyadong makasarili ang mga magulang ko.

Its like they just gave me into our relatives house like an orphan along with my younger sister.

Were not rich but not poor either. Middle class lang. Enough money to afford financially.

After 3 hours of cleaning I prepare our food and set up the dinner table. Then maghuhugas ulit tapos maliligo then mag-aral.

It was a chore. Paulit-ulit na gawain. Despite having a tight schedule, I wouldn't complain, they feed us and make us stay in their house.

Parang bayad ang aking ginagawa sa pagpapatira nila saamin dito.

The following days were a blur. I couldn't catch up with the lessons. Nahihirapan akong intindihin agad ang mga ito. It would take me hours of studying before magets ito.

Sometimes I would just look at my classmates as they recited and being able to answer during recitation. How could they get the lesson so easily, like they could process every word so quickly?

As I stared at them, it made hate myself more for why my brain is so empty and slow.

Even if I reviewed and tried to understand everything, others score are still better than mine.

Hindi naman ako ganito dati eh, for some reason, I've changed.

I tried my best. Try, try, and try. I am scared to get called "bobo" or "tanga" just because of being slow. What would just others think of me?

Baka isipin nila na masyadong mahina ang utak ko dahilan para maging mababa ang mga scores ko.

So ending is I would review late nights just to get high scores. And it worked. Continuously, I earned high scores because of hardwork. Unlike others who wouldn't need studying to get high scores, unlike me who needs to pressure up myself.

I couldn't tell myself as a 'naturally' smart girl because I still need to study hours before getting the lessons right.

I still needed to adjust myself.

It sucks.

"What is the strongest muscle in our body?" our science teacher asked.

The tongue.

I badly want to raise my hand and say my answer but what if I'm wrong? Edi nakakahiya.

Wag nalang. Nakakahiya magkamali.

"The tongue po ma'am." my seatmate answered.

"Correct."

Parang gusto ko sampalin sarili ko. I knew it! I knew it na 'yun yong sagot pero bat hindi ako nag taas ng kamay?

Fuck this.

"Hi! I'm Freia. Tumabi ka naman sa amin! Ikaw lang kasi mostly tahimik dyan. Isang buwan na ang nakalipas oh at tahimik ka pa din." one of my classmates approached me.

"Huh?" I asked in confusion.

"Halika!" she pulled me towards her friends.

"This is Joy, Gwy, Kevin, Rose, Aizie, Jineinna, Clarisse, Ian, Ariane, and James. We're friends since magkaklase kami and you're included." Freia insisted.

They introduced themselves as I just stared at them, thinking should I trust them? I've never had any friends before rather than Nadia and Erora.

I just smiled awkwardly hanggang sa tinawag ako ni Nadia para lumabas. I excused myself to them at sinundan siya.

"So kaibigan mo na sila? I thought kami lang kaibigan mo?" she looked pissed while glaring at me.

Aw, she's jealous because I talked to others rather than her. Cute.

"Ah no. They just introduced to me. Yun lang." sabi ko na ikinatango niya.

"By the way I have a stomach ache and I couldn't do my project. Could you do it for me? Please?" she begged at me.

May upcoming projects din kami sa ibang subjects eh, plus mayroong long quiz pa kami bukas hindi ko kakayanin kung pati siya gawan ko pa ng project.

"Si Erora?" tanong ko.

"Busy din siya eh. Pweding ikaw nalang?"

I badly wanna decline her offer since ako ang kawawa. But what if she got mad at me? Edi hindi niya ako papansinin. Wala na nga akong ibang kaibigan eh aside from them, so I reluctantly agreed.

Kahit labag ito sa kalooban ko.

"Yes! thank you!" she smiled before leaving.

I quickly did my assignments and projects inside the room as the teacher discusses our lessons. I would listen and take notes but at the same time do Nadia's project.

I was cramming everything but at dawn I finally finished my works. I got really tired and did a 2 hour sleep before preparing myself to school.

Masyadong puyat ako ng pumasok sa school.

"Oh bat mukha kang nagpakain sa zombie kagabi. Anyare?" tanong ni Joy.

"Just did some works." I shortly answered.

I felt drained and tired.

At kung mas mamalasin nga naman nagkaroon ng surprise quiz nung Filipino.

I was shocked since I forgot na may quiz pala kami, hindi pala surprise.

I didn't study our lesson yestersay since sa ibang subject ako nagreview. I scanned my notebook but wala ding kwenta 'yun kasi agad ko na nakalimutan.

Nahihirapan akong intindihin ang mga tanong kasi hindi ko alam ang sagot. At ng malaman na mababa ang score ko, halos gusto ko na magpakain sa lupa.

Everyone looked at me.

Horrified looks from everyone in the room.

Tumikhim ako bago nagiwas ng tingin. I was staring outside when someone tapped my back.

"Hey it's okay. You did well naman!" marahang sabi ni Lea na ikinaginhawa ko.

Atleast I tried.

I opened my insta account to check on something only to see Nadia's beach post.

She was at the beach kaya hindi nakapagproject at ipinagawa sa akin?!

I could feel my blood boiling but I realized she was just asking for my help. Maybe she is struggling herself kaya kailangan niya ng rewind sa beach.

She needed space to meditate herself kaya siguro nagbeach siya.

I hope....

Besides I fail my quiz because I forgot to review it. I shouldn't take the blame on her, even though part of me wanted to.

She could have just made it earlier before she went to the beach but maybe nagkaroon ng urgent the past days kaya hindi niya naasikaso.

I'll understand her.