You're Losing Me (Lost Hearts Duology #1) | ✓

Chapter 40

Lei''s POV

"Lei." tawag sa'kin ni tita Cassandra.

Pagod ko siyang nilingon. Everything was a blur. Ceila's tita and sister just died and she was completely losing herself.

The fact that I can't comfort her because she wanted to be alone.

Her grieving was getting worst as days passed by.

"I want Ceila to attend a modeling career in Las Vegas." saad niya nagpatigil sa'kin.

"What?" naguguluhang tanong ko.

"I just got a call from one of the biggest modeling company in Las Vegas, asking if I could send them models from our agency. I think this would be a good opportunity to Ceila. I know she is in grief right now but we can't just let that huge opportunity slip through our fingers. We both know that this step could lead Ceila to be a supermodel. This massive opportunity shouldn't be wasted." mahinang pagpapaliwanag niya sa'kin.

No. Please not Ceila.

Buong gabi nasa isip ko kung papayag ba si Ceila o hindi. I know she would agree, it was her dream. But would it also be fine with me?

Would she break up with me?

Napahilamos ako sa mukha bago mabigat na napabuntong hininga.

Napaupo ako sa kama at napaisip.

Whatever her decision may be I would gladly accept it. Her decision is her choice.

But part of me wanted her to decline that offer.

No.

At this point I am being selfish. I can't be selfish lalo nat pangarap niya ito. Mas nauna ang pangarap niya kaysa sa'kin at sa relasyon namin.

"I thought I'd lose you." Agad ko siyang niyakap nang makita siya.

"Pagdating ko kanina wala ka dito. Akala ko iniwan mo na ako."

"Lei Andrique." she called me. Pain was very written in her voice. It was cracked.

At this moment, I already knew it.

"I am breaking up with you."

Damn.

I thought this wouldn't hurt but I could feel my heart being stabbed by daggers.

Mas lalong nadurog ang puso ko nang makita siyang lumuhod mismo sa harapan ko.

"Please Lei, I'm begging you. Please break up with me..."

"Please Lei, tell me you're breaking up with me." she cried while holding my hand.

Begging me to break up with her.

I felt my tears stream down my face. If only... if only she is so easy to lose.

But I can't. I thought I can but I fucking can't.

Have you ever imagine the person you loved more than yourself begging infront of you for freedom?

It's like she is caged within me and asking for freedom.

"Lei please... pagod na ako. I couldn't find myself anymore, I am losing myself. I can't love you anymore at this moment. We're just hurting each other." her voice croaked more.

I know Ceila. I fucking know.

Napailing ako. At this moment I want her to keep with me. I want to be selfish and for once keep her with me.

"Nagsisimula palang tayo eh, bakit sumisilip na agad ang dulo?" my voice cracked.

My heart was being gripped and I could feel it throbb in pain.