You're Losing Me (Lost Hearts Duology #1) | ✓

Chapter 22

Ciela's POV

I burst out my tears as I felt my heart being gripped tightly. Then I found myself bursting inside the emergency room at tinabing ang mga doctor.

I hugged tita's cold body as I cried harder.

"T-tita!" malakas na sigaw ko habang pilit siyang niyuyogyog. 

"Gumising ka tita!" I yelled at her thinking and hoping she would open her eyes and wipe away my tears.

Ngunit hindi niya na ito idinilat pa.

I glanced at Cieura before hugging her small cold body. Bakas pa din ang sarili niyang dugo sa kanyang katawan.

I caressed her hair. "Cieura ate is here na, please wake up!!" I shaked her body forcing her to open her eyes. 

Mas lalo akong napahikbi ng hindi sila gumising. "Tita, Cieura gumising kayo please!!" malakas na sigaw ko. 

Sa kabila ng aking mga pagtatangka na protektahan sila, pakiramdam ko ay nabigo ako bilang kanilang tagapag-alaga at bilang kanilang pamilya. Iniisip ko kung may nagawa ba akong iba para maiwasan ang pagkamatay ng kapatid ko.

If I could've just told her to wait for me... maybe I was selfish to not even think that she was still a kid that need to be taken care of.

I burst into tears and cry uncontrollably to loud, bawling sobs. My whole body was shaking with sobs and my heart is torn apart with deep pain. 

As my cries of grief, and guilt, along with an intense sense of loss and sadness was heard in the four corners of this room. 

"Gumising kayo," I whispered.

"Ciela!" nagulat ako ng bigla akong niyakap ni Lei. 

I bursted out to tears as I wrapped my arms around him. 

"Lei si t-tita at Cieura... I failed to protect them!" malakas sigaw ko.

"Hey, no you didn't. Wala kang kasalanan," he gently whispered but I could feel his voice broke.

Bumitiw ako sa yakap niya bago bumalik sa malamig na katawan ni tita.

"Tita please gumising kayo, PLEASEEE!!" I held her cold hand hoping that the heat from my body could revive her. 

"I will be good promise! I will pursue nursing and cut modeling, hindi ko pa nga nasasabi sa'yo eh na model na ako. Tita naman eh wag mo'ko iwan!! Iniwan na nga ako ni mama pati ba naman ikaw, GUMISING KA TITA!" malakas na hikbi ko habang nakayakap sa malamig niyang katawan.

I crawed myself to Cieura. 

"Cieura gumising ka na, ate is here na. I'm sorry please forgive ate. Sana sinabihan nalang kita na mag antay sa school niyo, sana kahit minsan sinuway mo ang utos ni ate. Cieura remember you wanted to go to Disneyland? Paggumising ka idadala kita agad dun. Gumising ka na please!!" I hugged her body. 

"Ciela that's enough." sabi ni Lei bago ako inihiwalay sa kanila.

Pinagtulungan nila ako ilayo sa kanila. Pilit akong nagpupumiglas mula sa mariing pagkahawak nila sa akin.

"Lei namatay sila tita! Help me please nilalayo nila ako sa kanila!!" I yelled at him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered then I felt something dug into my skin.

Ramdam ko agad ang panghihina ng katawan ko bago bumagsak ang tuklap ng mga mata ko.

"Gumising kayo...." mahinang bulong ko bago nawalan ng malay. 

***

Napabaliwas agad ako ng bangon ng maramdamang nakatulog ako.

Napatingin ako kay Lei na nag-aalalang nakatingin sa akin.

"Lei panaginip lang 'yun diba? Hindi pa sila patay?" My voice broke.

Hindi ko tanggap. I tried convincing myself that it was all a nightmare.

Mas lalong nadurog ang puso ko ng umiling siya.

"I'm sorry Ciela. Pero wala na sila tita," his voice broke bago mabilis na yumakap sa akin. 

I bursted out my tears. Akala ko ba naubos na 'to, bakit meron pa din?

I cried until I couldn't breathe properly. Hoping that it would ease up the pain.

But it didn't.

I tried to catch my breath between sobs, tears streaming down my face. I was in too much anguish to care how loud or ugly my cries are.

Hinaplos niya ang likod ko habang lumalakas ang pag-iyak ko. Feeling held and comforted goes a long way in providing a sense of peace during difficult times. I need reassurance and warmth.

***

I stared blankly as their coffin is slowly getting down underground. I used up some of my money from modeling just to give them a nice and decent funeral.

As a way of saying the painfullest goodbye of my lifetime.

It was like wala ng natira ni isa sa akin.

I was just left, with no one by my side. No one to wipe up my tears and give advices.

Starting today I will no longer wake up with a freshly cooked breakfast in the table. Cieura's giggles everytime she would eat her favorite meal. Tita's sermon and powerful words. 

No more them.

"Condolence Ciela." people would say to me but I couldn't have any energy to smile nor speak to them. 

I just stared at nothing. Pakiramdam ko ako nalang mag isa. 

Lei helped me stayed in an apartment under his name. He insisted to let me stay there as long as I want. 

He was the one who fetched my things at home. He refused to let me go back there. I agreed to him, kasi alam ko mas iiyak lang ako kapag makita ko ang bawat sulok ng bahay kung saan nangyari ang masasayang araw namin ng magkasama. 

For the whole past weeks everything was a blur. Pakiramdam ko ng mawala sila, nawala din ako.

All I could do is to let my emotions out and express my sorrow and pain in a way that I couldn't hold back. I don't know where to start it was like the world turned its back on my and left me on a dark ally.

Ang sakit. Sobrang sakit. 

It was like the world continued revolving while I stopped living.

"Ciela, please kumain ka. It has been days before you had eaten," bungad na sabi sa akin ni Lei pagdating niya galing sa school.

"I'm not in the mood of eating." malamig na sabi ko habang nakahiga at nakatagilid sa kama. 

"Everyone at school is looking for you, especially your friends. We are worried Ciela. Alam ko na hindi magugustuhan ni tita ang ginagawa mo sa sarili mo." sabi niya na ikinatigil ko.

"She can't be mad because she is not here." I forced myself to not cry again. 

Narinig ko ang malakas niyang buntong hininga bago lumabas ng kwarto. 

I guess everyone is busy practicing for the graduation. I wouldn't come because I know I didn't pass. 

At sinong aakyat sa akin sa stage? 

It was always tita before but who would now?

Even the modeling agency is asking me if when will I be back and I just told them I need a break. I just need to accept everything and luckily my manager agreed.

Hindi ko alam kung kailan ko matatanggap, it was like fucking hard to accept it.