You're Losing Me (Lost Hearts Duology #1) | ✓

Chapter 23

Ciela's POV

After days of thinking I finally fixed myself.

Pupunta ako sa studio. I can't just sulk at the apartment, I need work to survive.

Masyadong nakakahiya na kay Lei kasi sa kanya nalang ako umaasa.

Pagpasok ko ng studio agad nila akong hinarap.

"Ciela thank god you're already here! Hinahanap ka ni madam Cassandra sa office niya!" sigaw sa akin ng co workers ko.

Pilit nalang akong ngumiti sa kanila bago naglakad papunta sa office ng manager ko.

Pagpasok mo bumungad sa akin si madam.

"Ciela you're finally back!" she stood up from her seat and gave me a warm smile.

She guided me to the seat infront of her table before looking at me seriously.

"Okay, I'll go straight to the point. I just got called from one of the biggest modeling company in Las Vegas to send them models from our company. At ikaw agad ang una ko na naisip." she dropped a bomb at me.

"I know this is a sudden news and you are still in grief but this is one of the biggest lifetime opportunities! And I want you to come with me along with the other selected models. Please Ciela take the offer." she begged.

Natigilan ako. Going to Las Vegas also means leaving everything I have here.

Including Lei.

Mukhang napansin niya ang naguguluhang mukha ko.

Tumikhim siya. "Don't worry about the expenses, it's already on me. Just your presence is the most important." sabi niya pa.

Napalunok ako.

"Does it also means leaving everything behind?" tanong ko na ikinatango niya.

"I'm sorry Ciela pero kung sino man ang nagpipigil sa'yo sumama sa Las Vegas, you need to talk. Convince him or her to agree. You need this opportunity, I just know it. Besides you need a fresh way start." desidido niyang sabi.

I bit my lips.

"I'll think about it po." sabi ko bago umalis.

Tulala pa din akong dumating sa apartment bago napasalampak sa sofa.

I covered my mouth as I stared crying.

I cried as I catch my breath between my sobs.

Pakiramdam ko unti unting kinukuha sa akin ang mga taong mahal ko.

I wanna pursue my dreams in Las Vegas pero tangina si Lei.

Hindi ko siya kayang iwan.

Napatapik ako sa aking mukha ng maramdaman ang malakas na hikbing lumalabas.

"Please I am not you're bravest soldier."

I whispered as embrace myself with emptiness inside the apartment.

Kailangan ba mangyari ang lahat ng 'to? Bakit pakiramdam ko masyadong mabilis?

Time skips so fasts that I couldn't catch up with it.

Ayokong mawala si Lei. Nawala na sa akin si tita at ang kapatid ko. Hindi ko kaya. Hindi ko tangina kakayanin.

But the modelling opportunity.

Malaking tulong ito sa akin upang matupad ang aking pangarap. Alam ko sa sarili ko na kailangan ko ito.

I want to create a name for myself.

Pero si Lei.

Why can't I just be selfish for once? Na kahit ngayon lang piliin ko ang aking sarili at ang sariling kasiyahan?

Natagil ako sa pag iyak ng biglang bumukas yung pinto.

Nagulat ako ng yumakap sa akin si Lei ng mahigpit.

"I thought I'd lose you."

Stop. You're losing me.

"Pagdating ko kanina wala ka dito. Akala ko iniwan mo na ako." aniya na ikinadurog ng puso ko.

I'm sorry, Lei.

"Lei Andrique." I called him.

"I am breaking up with you."

Nakita ko kung paano siya natigilan.

Bigla siyang napahiwalay sa yakap bago ako gulat na tinignan.

Nanlaki ang mata niya ng bigla akong lumuhod sa harapan niya at napahagulgol ng iyak.

"Please Lei, I'm begging you. Please break up with me..." napaluhod ako at hinawakan ang kamay niya.

"Please Lei, tell me you're breaking up with me." I cried harder.

I saw him cry infront of me as his tears were pouring down his cheeks.

Marahas siyang napailing. Mas lalo akong napahagulgol sa harapan niya.

"Lei please... pagod na ako. I couldn't find myself anymore, I am losing myself. I can't love you anymore at this moment. We're just hurting each other." my voice cracked.

He remained silent as his tears flowed like waterfall. Napailing siya.

"Nagsisimula palang tayo eh, bakit sumisilip na agad ang dulo?" he cried as his voice cracked.

Mas lalo akong naiyak sa kanyang sinabi.

Niyakap niya ako at maharang hinaplos ang buhok. I could feel his tears on my shoulders as he tightens up our hug.

"Happy birthday." biglaang bigkas niya na nagpatigil sa'kin.

Sa sobrang bilis ng lahat hindi ko na pala namalayang kaarawan ko na.

I could feel my eyes sting, parang gripong patuloy na umaagos ng walang hanggang luha sa magkabilang mata.

Mas lalong nadudurog ang puso ko dahil sa sitwasyon namin.

Ramdam ko na ang unti unting pagbitaw ko. Pakiramdam ko kapag tumagal 'to, masasaktan ko lang siya at ang sarili ko.

Tangina, ayoko na.

"I cheated." napalunok ako ng maramdaman siyang natigilan.

It was the only way for him to let me go.

Marahas akong humiwalay sa yakap niya at hinarap siya.

"I cheated on you, Lei. So I am choosing him."

Our gazes met and I saw pain flashed through his eyes making my heart ache in an extreme pain.

I kept myself in posture and forcing myself to not take back my words.

"Is that how you cope with your tiredness? To cheat?" he scoffed at me making me want to take back my words.

No. You can't Ciela.

Napaiwas ako ng tingin ng makita ang kanyang mariing titig.

"Ciela ganun ba?! Was I not enough?! Ciela naman, tangina you're so fucking unfair." malakas na sigaw niya bago ako nilagpasan.

Sinundan ko siya ng tingin. I watched him walking to the front door before opening it, he stopped for a moment and glanced at me.

"I am breaking up with you, Ciela." he sternly said before leaving.

He left carrying my broken heart.

I never was ready to watch him go

Napaupo ako bago napahagulgol ng iyak.

For my dreams, I needed to let go of him. For myself, for my future.

For once, I became selfish.