Journey (3)

Chapter 37

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It's the next morning, and I'm waiting for Connor to arrive, so that we can grab a quick coffee before our shift starts. Except, something is clearly going on, because he is nowhere to be seen. 

I've looked around, and waited for almost fifteen minutes. He isn't here. I have to assume that he has an excuse for that. After all, he did say that he'd be here, just as he is every other day.

I pull out my phone to check it again. I've done that several times, but I still don't have a text from Connor, explaining why he isn't here. There's nothing. 

I quickly text him, just with a question. This could just be the traffic, and a situation that was completely out of his hands. I just have to text to see if I need to wait around, or not.

T: Where are you??

Is everything okay?

I don't know if Connor will respond, or if he'll even see the message, but it's worth a try. I'm just about to put my phone back in my pocket, when a text comes straight back through from Connor. I'm impressed. That was a very quick response.

C: I'm sorry. I'm taking the morning off.

I should have told you, but it was really short notice. I need to be here for Kyla right now. I'm sorry.

We can get coffee tomorrow.

I pause for a second, taking it all in. So, he does have a perfectly valid excuse. His girlfriend needs him. He's taking the morning off. He's taking the morning off, because his girlfriend needs him.

I can't help but get the slightest feeling of unease about that. Back in the time that Connor and I were together, I don't think he ever once took the morning off, because I needed him.

No, he definitely never did that for me. There were plenty of mornings when I would have needed him, when I was stressed, or going through a hard time. I would have needed him then, but it was always work first. It was always his career. 

Except, it's different now.

I hate that I feel so bitter about it. This whole situation with Kyla is absolutely none of my business, in any way. Neither is Connor taking a morning off. I don't know the details, I shouldn't be making assumptions. I just can't help but make the comparison, even though I know it's wrong. 

I send back a quick text, because it's the considerate thing to do. I shouldn't even be ruminating over it so much. I should just be a friend.

T: I completely understand, don't worry about it.

I'll see you later 

I hope that everything is okay 

I leave it at that, because I don't want to bombard him. This isn't my business. I need to keep out. I know that's a definite fault of mine.

I walk back to the ED, and even though no one says anything, I notice that Natalie gives me a strange look as she walks past. I know what she's thinking. She's expecting Connor to be with me and wondering why he isn't. She probably thinks that we got into some heated argument and I stormed off. At least there's a genuine excuse this time.

I head over to Maggie, who looks visibly impressed. She folds her arms. "You're early," she remarks, approvingly. "That's the first time in weeks." She starts to smile, and then her smile drops slowly. "Wait, you're really early. What happened to coffee with Connor? The two of you didn't..."