Journey (3)

Chapter 67

sad beautiful tragic - taylor swift

forever and always (piano version) - taylor swift 

author note: had to choose two songs just because of the emotional intensity of this chapter. i really hope you like it, i worked for a while on this one!!

CONNOR'S POV:

"Connor? Are you even listening to me?" Ava demands into my ear. I'm trying to listen to her explain the surgical schedule for the next week, but all I can think about is Tessa, and how things haven't really been the same since everything that happened on Valentine's Day. For the past few weeks, everything has just been so stilted and awkward.

"I said, are you even listening to me?" Ava asks me again, waving a hand in front of my face. "You were staring into space again. This is important. What are you thinking about?"

I sigh, and start to listen to Ava again. "It doesn't matter," I tell her, shrugging. "What were you just saying about the schedule?"

"You were thinking about Tessa, weren't you?" Ava asks me, and I hate that she knows me so well. Sometimes I forget that she can read me like that.

"How would you know that?" I challenge her. Ava has been trying to interfere with us for a long time. I don't want this conversation to turn into that.

"Come on," Ava scoffs. "You can't be serious. Everyone knows that your relationship is on the rocks right now. Do you really think that you can hide anything from the gossips around here?"

I roll my eyes. "People need to focus their own lives," I say, shaking my head. "Anyway, it doesn't matter what I was thinking about. What were you trying to tell me about the new surgical schedule?"

"Are you going to give her a huge romantic gesture?" Ava asks me, leaning over the desk to get closer to me. She seems to be more fixated on this than the actual schedule.

"No," I say, sighing. "Okay, to tell you the truth, I was contemplating whether we're better off as friends."

"You're thinking about breaking up with her?" Ava asks, suddenly. She seems shocked, which is strange. I wouldn't have expected that from her.

"I'm considering things," I say, because I don't have a definite answer for that question. "If you knew the full extent of everything that happened..." I stop myself suddenly, unsure of why I'm saying all of this to Ava.

"That's a bad idea," Ava tells me, suddenly. She shakes her head disapprovingly. "You can't seriously think about breaking up with her?" She sighs. "Do you keep your girlfriends on some sort of a rotator wheel, break up with us when you get bored? She isn't disposable."

"That's an interesting take, coming from you," I say. "But you don't even know the situation. You can't honestly judge me."

"I think I can," Ava says. "You quit on everyone when things get tough. It happened with us, and now it's happening with you and Tessa. You don't want to try and fix your relationship, you just want to dispose of her when it gets difficult."

I am silent for a moment, trying to process what Ava just accused me of. I would be far too proud to admit it, but I can see that she has a point. "I'm not quitting," I say, defensively. "It's a lot more complicated than that. I don't expect you to understand, and I didn't ask for your opinion. All I said was that I was weighing up my options."

"We both know that you would just end up breaking her heart, if I didn't intervene," Ava says, rolling her eyes. "I'm serious about this. You can't break up with her again. This time, she might actually come to her senses, and she won't be crawling back to you anymore."