Journey (3)

Chapter 49

author note: all i can say is...get ready! this is going to be a big one. i really hope that you enjoy reading this! next chapter is going to be crazy...!

i miss you, i'm sorry- gracie abrams 

I've spent the last hour contemplating whether to say something to Connor. It's the day after we kissed, and I spent almost the entire night trying to figure out what to do.

He leaves in just about an hour, and then he's gone for an entire month. There is so much I want to say, to ask, even to get off my chest. I just don't know what to do.

"He really is leaving for a month," Natalie sighs. She is standing next to me, and to my relief, she has hardly even mentioned Connor yet.

"He is," I say, flatly. I hate that he's leaving, and I wish that he wasn't leaving today. 

I notice that Connor had just finished talking to Will, who is now fortunately walking away in my direction. I quickly walk over to him.

"Will," I say, and he turns around instantly. "You were just talking to Connor, right?" I ask him.

"Yes," he tells me, nodding. "I was just wishing him luck, telling him to have a safe flight, all of that. Why?"

"When is he leaving?" I ask, not even bothering to cover it up. I need to know when he's going to leave. I need to know if I still have a chance to talk to him, even if I don't know what I'm going to say.

"His flight is in about an hour, and he's just about to go back to his apartment and pack, and then he's probably going to leave for the airport in about twenty minutes," Will tells me. "Couldn't you have just asked him that yourself?"

"Not exactly," I tell him, sighing. "But it's a very long story. Thank you, anyway."

"Tessa," he says, before I am about to turn around. "If you're planning to give him some big declaration before he leaves, I don't know if that would be the best idea."

"It's a lot more complicated than that," I tell him. "And I don't know what to do. I don't know whether I should say anything to him."

"How complicated is it?" Will asks. "What, did you two kiss? Something like that?"

"Exactly that," I say, slowly, surprised at how easily he was able to guess that. "That's what happened...we...kissed," I say, completely forgetting the promise that I made to Connor, to not tell anyone about the kiss.

Will looks momentarily shocked. "I wasn't actually serious about that," he says. "It was a joke. Did you seriously kiss? When did that happen? He has a girlfriend."

"I know that," I say, nodding. "But he kissed me, and a lot more happened, too. But I shouldn't have told you that. You can't mention it to anyone."

"Wait," Will says. "You can't just tell me that you kissed and then not explain. When did you kiss? Why?"

"It was yesterday," I explain. "We kissed, seconds before he told me that he was going away for a month with his girlfriend." I sigh. "And that's not all that happened. He said all of this...I don't even know how to describe it. He basically said that...he has feelings for me."

"He said that?" Will asks. "That's surprising." He pauses, looking unsure about something for a moment. "Okay," he starts. "You can't tell anyone about this, especially not Connor, he would hate that I told you, but he said something to me a few weeks ago. He told me that he had feelings for you, that he wanted to explore that, and he wanted to be around you...all of that. I don't know where it all came from, but I reminded him that he had a girlfriend and he couldn't just say all of that."