Journey (3)

Chapter 42

 this chapter takes place in the same time/day as the previous chapter, just in a different point of view.

already over- sabrina carpenter

SAME DAY- CONNOR'S POV:

Walking into the hospital today, I have only one thing on my mind. I need to get some advice, from someone, and I think I know who. I don't want this little issue to turn into a huge dilemma.

I started to notice something on the night of my birthday. A night out at the bar, surrounded by my friends, my co-workers, my favourite people. It should have been perfect, and it very nearly was, except from one small detail. Tessa wasn't there.

I didn't realise how much I would notice, or how much I would be bothered by the fact that she wasn't there, but it was at the forefront of my mind for most of the night. 

My birthday was great, there's not a doubt about that, but I couldn't shake the feeling that it would have been better if Tessa had attended. I wanted her to be there, even if I understood why she couldn't be, I still wished she had been there.

That what when I started to notice something. The way I felt when Tessa wasn't at the bar. The way that I spent most of the night wishing that she was. The way that she was the first person I wanted to speak to, the day after. The way that even a week later, I was still thinking about all of that, and more importantly, her.

I don't know what this is, but I know that it has to be stopped, before it develops into some sort of feelings. I know that can't happen. I have a girlfriend, and I'm moving on, and no matter what, nothing can happen.

That's why I need advice. I need to figure out whether these are feelings for her, or whether it's just our history, because we definitely do have a lot of it. I know the perfect person to discuss this with. Will. 

Fortunately, I see him as soon as I enter. "Will," I say, walking over there. He looks up from whatever he's doing to greet me.

"How are you doing?" Will asks, smiling. It doesn't look like he's too busy, so hopefully I'll be able to ask him for his advice.

"I'm good," I say. "You know what, Will, I actually did have something I wanted to talk to you about." I clear my throat before starting. "I thought, since you and Natalie have been through a lot...splitting up and getting back together."

Will nods. "I guess we have done that a lot," he muses. "Okay. I don't know if I'll be that great with the advice, but try me. I'll do my best to help you out."

"It's not really anything huge," I tell him, shrugging. "It's just, my birthday. When Tessa wasn't there...I guess it just made me feel weird." It feels awkward for me to describe it like this. "Almost like...I missed her, but I guess it was more than that? I really don't know how I'm feeling, but I know there is a feeling there, and that's why I've sort of been keeping my distance from her since my birthday happened."

Will nods, and he thinks for a second, mulling over my predicament. "Wow," he says, finally. "That was not what I was expecting you to come out with. That you think you may have feelings for Tessa-"

"No." I cut him off quickly. "No, no, it's not like that. I don't have feelings for her, it's a lot more complicated than that." That's the best way that I can describe it.

"Okay?" Will says, slowly. "I'm not completely understanding it, but I see what you mean." He sighs. "I don't really know what to advise you. I'd say that you already have everything you need. A girlfriend, stability, finally getting over Tessa. I don't know if you should rock the boat, over a little slight thought you had a whole week ago. I would ask yourself if it's all worth it?"