IT DOESN'T EXIST ( Underground Series Ⅲ )

Kabanata 37

Last Will

~~~🌸~~~

There were a lot of things that were running through my mind. I believe I planned everything so well. I was even 100 percent sure of all the things that I wanted to do. For six years, after knowing everything, I did everything to make it as flawless as possible.

I wanted to get even with the people who killed my parents. I wanted to take my revenge. I wanted to make them feel the same hell I've been through. I want them to suffer the way I did. I want to kill my parent's murderers.

They fooled me. Para akong isang laruan na pinaikot. I was the stupid, naive Malia in the past. I was so easily manipulated that I was not even aware that the people who took the precious persons in my life were just there. They were just around me the whole time.

At ano kayang ginagawa nila sa mga panahon na iyon? Are they laughing at me? Pinag-uusapan ba nila ako? Sa loob ng mahabang panahon, ilang beses ba silang tumawa habang pinag-uusapan kung paano ako kadaling maloko, mapaikot at mamanipula?

I looked at Eda. She remained standing in front of me, staring at me, waiting for me to say anything. Pero hindi ko mahanap ang mga tamang salita. For me, she was a great friend. She was like a sister to me. Hindi lang basta isang kapatid, siya ang naging kasangga ko sa lahat. I was able to survive my whole high school journey because of her. Naging tagapagligtas ko, naging takbuhan.

For me, she was all I had after my parents died. I never received anything from my other relatives. Binigyan nila ako ng matutuluyan at pagkain, pero may mabigat na kapalit ang lahat. At si Eda lang ang nag-iisang taong nagbigay sa akin ng mga bagay na hindi kailanman nanghingi ng kapalit.

Kaya ang malaman ang lahat ng nangyari sa nakaraan, para akong nabasag. Gumuho ang mundo ko. At ngayon, kahit na sabihin niya na wala siya roong kinalaman, hindi ko na alam kung ano ang dapat na paniwalaan.

Gusto ko maniwala, pero may isang parte sa akin na pumipigil. Ayoko nang bumalik sa dating Malia. Ang Malia na napakadaling utuin, lokohin. Bukod sa mga sinasabi niya, ano pa ba ang ibang makakapag patunay na nagsasabi nga siya ng totoo?

But on the other side, I can't pull the trigger. Lalong nanginig ang kamay ko. Nakatutok pa rin sa kaniya ang hawak kong baril, pero hindi ko kayang iputok.

I want to pull the trigger. I was mad. I feel like any minute now, I will burst with anger. Pero hindi ko kaya. Kaya sa huli, dahan-dahan kong binaba ang baril kong hawak at saka yumuko. Nanginig ako, kasabay ng pangingilid ng mga luha sa gilid ng mga mata ko.

"Go! Leave..." Nanghihina kong sabi. Hindi ko magawang iangat ang mga tingin. Nanatili akong nakayuko.

"I don't want to see you again—

"Malia!"

"I don't want to hear anything from you again." She cut me off, but I cut her back.