IT DOESN'T EXIST ( Underground Series Ⅲ )

Kabanata 40

Settle Down

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"Well, I want him or her to have to look like you. With dark hair, fair skin, and brown eyes" I rested my cheek on his chest habang nakayakap sa kaniya nang mahigpit.

Tuluyan nang nawala ang gutom ko. All I want is to rest here in bed while hugging him. I can still feel our bare skin underneath the sheets, but this position was too comfortable for me.

"But I want our child to have eyes that look like yours." Sabi nito at saka ako tiningnan. Tumingala ako nang konti para maharap si Kian. Titig na titig ito sa akin, sa mga mata ko habang marahang hinahaplos ang aking buhok.

Napangiti ako. I also love my eyes dahil nakuha ko ito sa tatay ko. I remembered how I always loved my father's eyes back then. But now, just by imagining a little version of Kian, He had the same monolid eyes as his, brown eyes with thick eyebrows. With those beautiful curly eyelashes, oh, I love to see that!

"Your blue eyes make my heart skip a beat every time I look at them." He said as he combed my hair using his fingers.

Hindi na ako nakasagot. I just smile as I feel my blood rush down my cheeks. Ibinaon ko rin ang mukha ko sa kaniyang dibdib to hide my burning face. Hindi ko lang talaga masanay ang sarili.

Everytime he uses his charm against me, parati akong talo. I love hearing him praise me, but I can't, and I don't even know how to react. I just know that every time he does that, he makes my heart skip a beat.

Hanggang ngayon iniisip ko pa rin kung paano kami nakarating dito. Noon, akala ko hanggang pangarap na lang ang lahat. Ni hindi ko inisip na magtatagpo ang landas namin. Nasa iisang eskwelahan kami pero ni minsan hindi pumayag ang utak ko na isipin na mapapansin ako ng isang Kian Nakoa Oliveros-Kim. I always think of him as someone I will never ever reach. Kahit na napakalapit lang namin sa isa't-isa, aware ako noon sa malaki at makapal na pader na namamagitan sa aming dalawa. Pero ngayon, hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala.

"I love you, Malia." Muling bulong ni Kian. Yumakap din siya ng mas mahigpit at saka ako hinalikan sa noo.

"Narito ka na muli sa tabi ko, but there wasn't a day that I wasn't scared. I am afraid that one day I'll wake up again and you're gone." Ramdam ko ang takot sa boses niya. Hindi na niya kailangang sabihin. Sa higpit ng kaniyang yakap at sa bigat ng kaniyang boses, hindi ko maitanggi ang takot sa boses nito.

Niyakap ko rin siya pabalik.

"I am sorry," bulong ko.

Sa tuwing maaalala ko ang mga nangyari sa nakaraan, kumikirot ang puso ko. I remember how I asked Mr. Kim to let me have my revenge. I beg him to let me enter the Underground to let my parents' murderers pay for what they have done.

But on the other side, that was also the time I already gave up everything. I was thinking that maybe Underground would help me become a new version of myself. Naplano ko na ang lahat. After getting those people to pay for killing my mom and dad, I will use the power that Underground gave me to run away from everything, to start over, and to build myself from scratch.