Why Did USA Bomb Laos Every 8 Minutes?

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UN: For you again, Ame!
USA: Cool!
UN: Why did you bomb Laos every 8 minutes for almost 10 years that one time?
USA: ...That's a secret.
UN: A secret war?!
USA: Not 'a' secret war, 'The' Secret War!
UN: ...But why?
USA: Needed to stop him trading with the Commies.
UN: 'The Commies'?
USA: ...Vietnam.
UN: You really didn't like Viet back then, huh...
USA: You could say that... Oh, there was another reason I did it!
UN: Which was?
USA: To support his monarchy against the rebellious folk- But mostly the Commie thing-
UN: I think you need professional help...
USA: Who, me? Nah, this is totally normal and healthy!
UN: ...Ame. No.

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