Better This Way

Twenty Two

Becky walked out of the room to meet Mrs. Ree. I got the opportunity to take a good look at her room. She's such a baby. I was moving from one corner to the other looking at her picture frames on the wall, the ones with her dad and brother as well.

"Cute" I muttered

I was about to sit down on the bed when my eyes landed on a small box under the table. It has the picture of Becky as a child on it. It's probably where she stored her childhood pictures. I took it out and opened it and I wasn't wrong.

It has the pictures of Becky, and her family in it. Becky looks exactly like the mum. I smiled at how cute she looks. There is equally her childhood diary here. I smiled and opened the first page.

"Becky wanted to be a lawyer? Why did she change her mind?" I muttered.

I closed the diary back and was looking at her other pictures when she came in.

"What are you doing?" She asked shockingly.

"Uhm .. I found this" I said smiling broadly.

She doesn't look happy at all about it. Maybe she doesn't like people going through her stuff or something.

"You going through my stuffs now?" She asked angrily.

Okay, I think I just got her angry but things here are not bad at all. I found them quite cute and it shouldn't get her angry that someone else saw her childhood pictures and all or is there something I am missing? I got up while holding the box.

"I just thought it's cool that you have this ...." I tried saying.

"Who are you to touch my stuff?!" She yelled cutting me off.

I became silent. I don't like it when people yell at me but with Becky I get more worried instead of angry. I am worried that maybe touching that triggered something. But I also hate it that she is treating me as someone else right now.

She walked to me and snatched the box from me. The things inside fell and scattered on the floor. She must really be so angry right now. I bent down trying to help pick them up but she yelled at me again to not touch them. It's more serious than I thought since her hands are slightly trembling and I can see tears gathering in her eyes.

"Hey are you alright?" I asked worriedly.

But she ignored me and picked the things back to the box. She dropped them back under the table and her tears now are dropping. I hate to see her like this. I want to be everything for her. I wish she can trust me enough to help her through this. Because I know how hard childhood trauma is and I don't wish it for anybody not alone Becky. 

"Becky?" I called and walked to her hugging her from behind  but she pulled away from me.

"Just go" she said in a low tone.

Why does she keep asking me to leave when I should be the one to make her feel better? I don't like that she's sending me off everytime she's not in a good mood. I want to be the one she looks at and feel better each time she's sad. And I wouldn't have touched that box if I knew she would react this way. 

I tried going to her again but she walked to the bathroom and slammed the door. I felt hurt by what she did but I completely understand her. I sat on the bed thinking of what to do next. A part of me wants to leave, but the other part decided to stay.

I know she's like this because that box reminded her of something. But what exactly is it that hurt her? The things in the box is her family photos and she has a perfect home. So what is it that hurts her in the box?

I walked to the bathroom and knocked at the door but she isn't coming out.

"Come on Becky, you have been here for quite sometime now. Do you wish to continue staying there?" I asked worriedly.