Better This Way

Forty one

Becky parted us and cupped my cheeks instead. She's looking at me in the eyes. Her hands started drying my tears. I wish she can remember that day. In my room. I wish she can. Becky held my cheeks tighter while still staring deeply into my eyes.

She caressed my cheeks down to my lips and paused. She's gulping and I am also gulping. I have missed her tender touch. Becky started bringing her face closer and in a short time our lips touched. That came as a shock to me. I tried to pull away because I know she's obviously not in her right state of mind. But she held me more tighter as her lips move aggressively on mine.

Sending butterflies in my stomach. I closed my eyes and kissed her back. It feels like the first time. My body started shaking. I held her tighter as we explored each other's mouth.

Gosh. This is bad. Becky is drunk. She's not even aware of what she's doing now. I should stop kissing her. I don't want to take advantage of her vulnerability. She will hate me more tomorrow when the alcohol leaves her system. I parted us instantly while panting.

"Uhm... We shouldn't be doing this."

She's looking at me in the eyes without saying anything. I helped her stand up and helped her got into the car. I got into the car as well and after putting on her seatbelt for her, I drove off.

After some minutes we arrived home. I guided Becky to my room and made her lie on the bed. I sat beside her and started removing her shoes. She's awake now, looking at me without blinking. My hands are still shaking because of what happened at the parking lot. Becky kissed me. Does it mean she has forgiven me? I don't want to read meaning into that. She's just drunk and her emotions are unstable.

I stood up from the bed to make some milk for her but she held my hand stopping me from leaving.

"Don't go" she said.

I sat back on the bed and touched her cheek. I tucked her hair behind her ear while smiling at her.

"I want to get warm milk for you. It will help you sleep. I won't be long" I said.

She smiled and released my hand. I got out of the bedroom to the kitchen. Heng is still shocked over why I brought her home. .

"Are you crazy Freen? Why did you bring her here?" Heng said as he joins me in the kitchen.

I know he doesn't trust her. He thinks she would lead her dad to us but I know she won't. I trust her with my life.

"She's harmless" I simply said while getting the milk ready.

"You think so? Maybe you have forgotten she's an Armstrong and she hates us"

"No she hates me not us. And that's because I betrayed her. Spot the difference"

"Freen I know you love her and you want to fix everything between you. But this is a wrong timing and your love is impossible...."

"I don't want to hear it" I cut him off.

He heaved a sigh and walked out of the kitchen. I got emotional as soon as he left. What he said got to me. Maybe Heng is right. Our love is impossible. My dad would never accept her and her family would never accept me too. I got this love shit all wrong.

I went back to my room with the glass of milk in my hand. I made Becky sit up and wrapped my hand around her to hold her firmly while feeding her the milk. She's drinking the milk but she's not taking her eyes off me. After some minutes she was done. I dropped the glass on the table and turned back to her.

I was just about asking whether she would like a change of cloth when she sat up and crossed her hands around my shoulder.

"I want to continue kissing you" she said and sat on my laps.