Better This Way

Thirty Three

I got out of the room to the balcony to meet Heng. I can't believe he invited and kissed someone at Nop's birthday yesterday. So much disrespect to Nop! Even if he doesn't have feelings, must he be like that?

He let out a sigh of frustration when he saw me.

"I don't want to talk" he said.

"Are you for real Heng? How could you do such a thing?"

"You also think I did that? Y'all keep misunderstanding me" he said.

"Stop playing the victim here Heng. The person hurting is Nop. You broke him and now Becky is mad at me for keeping it from her. Exactly my fear all these while" I said.

"Becky? Really? When will everything stop being about her?  What do I care if she's mad or not?".

"You should care because it hurts me that she is angry with me. But of course you won't know how it feels because you never really loved someone" I said and he looked at me immediately.

"You have no idea" He muttered and looked away.

"You made him feel special Heng. At some point I thought he meant something to you. Was it all a lie? You really didn't feel a thing for him?"

"I like him a lot Freen...."

"You like him? But not enough to protect his feelings..?"

"You still think I wanted all that to happen at the party last night?"

Silence

"Are you believing them over me? Without hearing my own side too?"

Silence.

"Goodness! I can't believe you are taking their sides now" he said disappointedly.

"You won't blame me....."

"You should take my side Freen. I am your cousin!! Even if no one else believes me, you should believe me. Because you know I will always tell you the truth!!" He yelled in disappointment.

I became speechless. It's true. He is my only family I have got now. We have each other and he never lied to me. I sat down weakly beside him. If he wants me to hear him out, I will.

"You know when I met Nop, he was different. I knew he was different" he said full of emotions.

"I wanted to have him just like I do with other guys but I find out I keep wanting him over and over again." He said and I looked at him shockingly.

"No matter where I am or who I am with, I always think about him. And if I am having someone else, my mind is always occupied with his thoughts."

"That day I brought Pat home, I was only curious to know why I can't have someone else other than Nop. Pat was good too but he was just a distraction. I tried to use him to stop whatever I feel for Nop. But surprisingly it didn't stop".

"A week ago, I broke up with him because Nop already started suspecting everything making me uncomfortable. But he came to the party uninvited and ruined it for us." he said.

"You contributed to what ruined it. You kissed him Heng."

"No he kissed me!" He said

Silence

"He stole the kiss from me but Nop doesn't seem to believe me. I have done everything to explain to him but guess he already made up his mind" he said weakly.

Well, no one would believe such especially when they have been suspecting you're cheating. But even if they don't believe him, I do. I know Heng very well, if he said the guy came uninvited and stole the kiss from him, then it's true. But Nop is so mad and will definitely not believe it right now.