Just Do It ...(Eminem Fan Fiction)

Damn...

Marshall POV

Sabrina slowly communicated with me through texts and brief conversations for the past three weeks explaining how the baby had been born addicted and needed special care. I hated being separated from my girlfriend again but there was something I admired about her stepping up to the plate like that. I would have done the same thing. Shit, I did do the same thing with Laney, and I've never regretted it one bit.

I flew to Philly on a bitter January morning to spend some time with Sabrina in her hometown. She stayed at an Airbnb for the first two nights she was away, but I set her up in a better one to bring the baby home in. She warned me that what I was about to walk into was heartbreaking, but if my girl was going through something I wasn't going to let her go through it alone. I prepared myself, but I could hear his cries wailing as I approached the house. I imagined this moment while on the plane, but what I walked into was beyond my wildest expectations. My girl stood over a bassinet in the middle of the room.

"Marshall!" Sabrina ran to my arms and burst into tears herself.

"I'm here baby." I held her tight.

The baby had a continuous deep screeching cry, more like a scream, and his entire little body was shaking.

I stared in anguish, "Damn... Does he always cry like this?"

Her eyes held the weight of the world.  It took but five minutes or so for the baby to calm some. 

"Come outside." Sabrina grabbed her jacket and nodded toward the balcony.

"It's fucking freezing out here." My breath was shown in the cold air as I took my beanie back out of my pocket and pulled my hood over my head again as I joined her on the balcony.

"It's the only place I can go to get some peace. All he does is scream. And shake." Sabrina placed her hand to her mouth and her eyes squinted until tears spilled over, "I just hold him really tight, ya know? It makes him feel secure."

I reached out to take her in my arms, "I'm sure he feels safe and loved with you babe."

"I gave him his med about twenty minutes ago. Hopefully, it will kick in soon and he'll sleep for a bit. I know it seems dreadful, but he's actually doing a lot better than when he was in the hospital. He hasn't had a seizure in over a week. I'm the only one who's been by his side each day. I couldn't allow him to go into the foster system, that would be dangerous. I went before a judge the day after Christmas to allow Javius into my custody, I had to get all my clearances. The state of Pennsylvania is technically his legal guardian, I just have physical custody for the time being."

Sabrina broke from my embrace, wiped her tears, and slammed her water bottle against the table, "I'm so pissed at Courtney! She has one more week to get it together. She's seen him twice this entire time. Nobody knows where she's been. I have court next week to find out what the fuck is going to happen."

"What are you going to do about work?"

"I filled out the online form for a family leave of absence." Sabrina looked me square in the eyes, "I've already made the decision that if they ask me to keep Javius for another month, a year, forever...I'll do it."

I knew that was coming, I knew she was going to put this baby above everything else in her life and I loved her for that, "Ok... And you're coming home?" I blinked, intently waiting for her answer.

"I don't even know where home is anymore Marshall." She leaned against the railing to look out to the city for a moment, "You don't have to stay here if you don't want to honey. You can stay elsewhere."

"Are you fucking serious?" I came up behind Sabrina to place my arms firmly on her shoulders and turn her to face me, "You really think I would leave at a time like this?"

"You don't have to feel obligated. My mom stopped over yesterday for a bit, my sister's been by."

"But none of them stepped up to the plate like you did."

Sabrina gave a halfhearted smile, "No, they didn't." She folded into my embrace again.

I think we both took a deep breath before entering the living room and it was quiet. Sabrina carefully crept over to Javius' bassinet and made the shoosh sign to her lips, "He's sleeping." She whispered.

My girl waved me over and I peered at the little infant asleep in his bassinet. She placed an extra blanket over him then took my hand. I loved watching her gazing at Javius. The look in Sabrina's eyes was that of pure motherly love, that shit couldn't be faked. I knew this baby meant more to her than anything right now. Sabrina looked exhausted standing there in her pink sweatpants and one of my shirts I'd given her. I felt like a piece of shit because even at a time like this with her standing there in pajamas and her hair in a bun, I wanted her. I knew that was the last thing on her mind though, she was on baby patrol.

"He doesn't sleep longer than two hours. I have a whole list of his meds, his feeding schedule, and things I can do to ease his pain."

She walked over to the kitchen, and I noticed all the ramen she'd been eating.

"Babe," I came up behind her to wrap my arms around her and lean in to kiss her cheek, "I want you to go lie down. Take a break."

Sabrina seemed surprised, "Are you sure?"

I took her left hand in mine to kiss the ring I had given her, "Of course baby. Don't worry about anything. I'll get you if he wakes up."

She reluctantly smiled and reached up to stroke my beard, "Wake me in two hours?"

"I gotchu."

Sabrina pecked my lips then went to bed, and I was left there in the living room with a sleeping newborn. I watched him silently for a long time, almost an hour. My entire body jumped the moment he opened his little grey eyes. Sabrina was right when she said he never sleeps for long. I expected his screeching cry to start again, but it didn't. He gazed up at me and peacefully blinked his eyes. I couldn't get attached!

I didn't want to reach for him!

I knew if I reached for him, I would fall in love with him and never want to let him go. I'm a real sucker for little kids and babies.

"Hey buddy." I spoke gently and placed my arms down into his bassinet firmly holding his delicate body swaddled in a blanket, "Hey."

When I held Javius warm and snug against my chest, an overwhelming sense of hope came over me. Javius wasn't always in pain; he was content for the moment. My stare intently fixated on his dark hair, his round little nose. He was so fragile, I made sure to hold him tight and secure like Sabrina talked about. I walked with Javius in my arms to the kitchen and skimmed over the sheet of paper on the counter. His care was complicated.

"You're a sick little guy, aren't you?" His eyes continued staring back at mine, "Don't worry buddy. We'll take care of you."

Astonishment overtook me when I held Javius for almost half an hour with no fussing. He seemed like he was breathing quickly, but he was satisfied. I knew from reading the list that he needed a feeding with another med soon and I didn't want to fuck anything up. I carefully walked with Javius in my arms back the hall and pushed the bedroom door open a bit to Sabrina sleeping soundly. The dim lighting shone in through the cracked door, her beautiful face deep in slumber. I sat on the side of the bed studying her features; her dark shiny hair, the cute shape of her nose, and her olive skin tone while I held Javius against my chest.

"Don't worry, we'll get through this." I took a moment to run my lips over Javius' little head recognizing the resemblance then reached out to stroke Sabrina's hair, whispering by her side, "He looks just like you."