Zoe's only wish is to be able to run barefoot through grass, but she knows it'll never happen. Ever since she was born, she's been unable to touch anything living without it instantly dying. It's a curse she would do anything to get rid of, but that...
Pain. I knew nothing else. Just unimaginable, everlasting pain. Sharp and pulsating and overpowering and constant. All my nerves burned.
Unbearable pain was the power the crown possessed, pain that had been said to make people go insane. I had read about the crown and how it had been lost for a long time. To think it had ended up in a witch hunter's hands... Well, it fitted since a witch hunter had been behind its creation.
I wanted to scream and beg and make it stop. But there was a little voice in my head that made me aware of one other thing.
He wants you to scream.
I had no idea where that voice or knowledge came from, but I trusted it and knew it was true. So no matter how much I wanted to scream, I locked all of my muscles.
The pain disappeared. It was still there, but it was my body remembering the pain. The crown was off me and I looked into Jackson's eyes.
"Very brave to suffer without screaming. Or stupid," he said. His eyes looked manic, crazy, insane. He stared intently at me. "Are you ready to tell me the truth?"
"I already did!" I shouted and made a desperate attempt to pull my arms from the restraints.
He shook his head, and the crown came on again.
Don't scream.
The voice was there again and now it repeated that one sentence. The little focus I had went to listening to the voice instead of my pain. But then I felt my head twist on its own accord and with that, all of my concentration was gone and my jaw unlocked.
I screamed. At least I thought I did. I wasn't even sure because the burning in my body was all I knew.
"That's better," I heard Jackson's voice and realized the crown was gone again. My screaming had also changed without me noticing and was more of a sob. I also realized that my cheek hurt in a different way. He must have hit me, just that I hadn't felt it through the all-consuming pain.
"Talk!" he ordered.
"It's a fucking curse!" I yelled, fueling my voice with the pain to make it stronger. "I was born this way. There is no spell!"
The pain took over again and this time I just let myself scream. No resistance. There was no point in avoiding it. My body burned in pain and keeping shut wouldn't change that or make it better. Besides, I wouldn't have been able to stop the screaming even if I had tried.
I'm sorry, the voice whispered in my head, but the pain and my own screams drowned it out.
"It's the truth. It's the truth," I repeated over and over the next time the crown was off me.
"Dad, maybe..."
"Shut up!"
My eyes snapped up to see Felix. He stared right at me, pale as a ghost and shivering. As I looked into his eyes, the tiny voice spoke in my head again. Forgive me, was all that it said and seeing Felix's eyes, I wanted to tell him it wasn't his fault. But I did not have the strength nor the time as the crown fell on my head again.
Forgive me. Those two words echoed in my head.
"What makes you think this is something that I would do to myself?" I asked next time I got a brief relief from the pain. "I can't touch anything living. I have never been hugged, or kissed, or just gotten to hold someone's hand. My greatest wish is to run barefooted through grass."
"Like your kind cares about that?" Jackson scoffed. "All you want is power and suffering."
At that point, my whole body was wet. A mixture of sweat and tears. I also couldn't hold myself up. The only reason I wasn't on the floor was because I was chained to the chair. I was sure that the pain soon would kill me and I welcomed that thought. But at the word suffering, I let out a weak laugh.
"You don't know what true suffering is," I whispered. My mind was in a mess, but at the same time as clear as the sky on a sunny summer day. "This is the worst torture you can do to me, correct? It does hurt so bad that I wish you would just kill me. But do you know what true suffering is? Fear, self-hatred, guilt. That destroys a person, while what you are doing will only kill me."
I saw his fist come towards me. I felt it hit me. I tasted the blood in my mouth. But there was no pain from it. That didn't matter though because, right after, the pain from the crown started again.
"What do you want me to say!" I yelled. "Tell me. I'll tell you anything you want to hear."
"The truth!"
"I already told you. I told you the truth. I can lie. I made a spell. It needs the full moon and the liver and blood of a goat."
I was getting lost in it all. I wasn't sure I was conscious all the time or if I made sense. Pain, my screams, Jackson's demands, and that tiny voice in my head. It was all I knew, but even they mixed together, made it impossible for me to separate them from each other.
"Kill me!" I screamed and begged. "Just kill me! Please! I can't take it. Kill me! Just make it stop."
"Dad, please. She must be telling the truth. Just stop this!"
I wasn't sure who it was that spoke. I wasn't sure who or where I was even at that point. I knew pain, and that I wanted it to stop and that voice... It felt safe and familiar, and I knew it would help me. So I blindly turned in the direction I thought the voice had come from. I couldn't see the source of the voice. The pain clouded my vision, but instinctively I knew my eyes had found the voice.
"Please! Just stop it. Stop it. Kill me. Please. Anything. Just anything. I can't anymore. I don't want to. Please! Kill me."
"Just stop it!"
"No."
"Dad, you are fucking killing her."
"Nothing more than she deserves."
"Just stop."
"If you can't handle this, then leave. I'm going to stay and listen to her screams."
I hope you can forgive me, I heard the voice.
"I don't blame you," I sobbed.
You're too good.
"No. I deserve this."
No!
"What are you doing? Stop!"
Next thing I was aware of was something warm surrounding me. Warm and comfortable, so comfortable. I hoped it was death and that I could stay in his embrace.
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