HBC One-Shots

Need your comfort

Hi everyone, how are you?

Tw: Depression, Bad body image

I wrote this as a comfort one shot for myself and for all of you who need it.

I've written a familiar chapter already, called 'Feeling down'

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Y/n?

Hi uh, I was just wondering when you'll come home...

Uhm, I'm still on set, I don't know how long I'll be today. Is something wrong?

No, just miss you.

I miss you too honey. Are you really okay?

Yeah. See you later, love you.

I love you too.

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You hang up and sink down onto the bed.
The truth is that over the last few weeks you haven't been feeling fine at all. Your mental state was getting worse again and you couldn't do anything about it.

You get under the covers and try to sleep, due to the big exhaustion your body had to suffer from over the last time.
But your thoughts were overwhelming you, keeping you away from sleeping any time soon.

It was unclear to you how long you laid there, but eventually your eyes closed and you managed to sleep.

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A loud noise pulls you out of your sleep.
You sit up, still tired as you've only slept for an hour.
You walk downstairs, rubbing your eyes and find Helena standing in the doorway.
You run up to her and into her arms.
"Hey honey." She holds you tight.
"I missed you, but why are you here yet?"
Helena took of her coat and put her bag down.
"You had me worried, so I went home earlier." Both of you sat down in an armchair, you on her lap.
"You didn't have to leave work for me."
Helena shrugs.
"We were nearly finished anyway, it wasn't a problem."
You snuggle into her.
"What's going on Y/n?" Tears shoot into your eyes.
"Everything's fine. Like I said, I just missed you."
"Baby talk to me."
"I'm fine okay?!" You stand up and try to get into the bathroom, but Helena was faster than you and managed to grab your arm, pulling you back into her.

"Please don't shut me out." You started to sob, tears rolling down your cheeks.
"It's getting bad again, isn't it?" You nod into her neck, while soft strokes were put onto your back and head.
"Let's go take a bath, shall we?" Carefully you get picked up by your wife.

Once in the bathroom, Helena sits you on the bathtub while preparing the bath.

During the time the water was running, she undressed herself. "I'll go in with you okay?" "Please" you mumble and the brunette cups your face, kissing your forehead.
"Let me help you Darling." Taking your shirt in her hands, she observes your reaction to her undressing you and immediately notices how insecure you're feeling.
"It's okay...my pretty girl." Helena pulls off the rest of your clothes with soft kisses all over your skin and helps you inside.
You rest between her legs, her fingers slowly stroking up and down your arms.
"You don't have to tell me, just know that I'm here."

"Thank you" you lean back even more and relax in her arms. You were nearly falling asleep again, if it wasn't for the water getting cold rather quickly, causing you to shiver.
Both of you get out of the water.
"Can you give me one of your hoodies?" Helena nods and passes you your favourite one of hers. Mumbling a quiet 'thank you', you get dressed as fast as possible.
"Do you wanna stay with me or have some time alone?"

"Do you have some work to do?" You quietly ask her. "Well, I've got some files to fill out, but they're not important." You think for a moment. "Uh- I- I think it's best if I take a moment." Helena kisses your head. "I'll be in the study if you need something, anything, no matter what..." You reassure her that everything is fine and let her leave.

You sit on the bed. The bad thoughts consuming your mind once again. You try to distract yourself and fight against them, but nothing seemed to work.
So after a little discussion in your own head, you decide to go to your wife. After a quiet knock, you enter the room and smile slightly at the sight of Helena sitting there with her cute glasses.

She immediately opens her arms for you. You take her offer and sink into her lap, your face in her neck once again. 
You pull her even closer to you, trying to get more comfort.
"Baby what's going on, hm?" You sniff.
"I don't know, it's just so much and I feel like falling back into a dark hole. But most of the time, I- i don't feel anything, completely numb, and then again nothing but pain.
And I thought I could get out of it by myself, but I'm just too weak." The brunette shakes her head.

"No, no, no Darling. A weak person wouldn't have told me that, wouldn't even have survived and suffered from such pain. You, as you are right here in my arms, are the strongest you've ever been. I know that it's hard, that you're still in the middle of the road, not far from the end but also still close to the beginning. And a step back won't make you weak, it'll make you more powerful by fighting and going on again. And if you know that you can't do it on your own, then I'll gladly help you with every support I can give you. Because we're in this together and I'm not going to leave you."

With completely wet eyes, you give Helena a small kiss with shivering lips before leaning against her again.
"Maybe it was too early to end the therapy. You don't have to go there every week, but maybe a few times just so you have a backup. And yes I want to help you, but I'm not a professional therapist and I can't help you like someone that's studied psychology."
You nod and silently agree.

"I love you my little flower." You smile into her neck. "I love you too honey."

You both sit in each other's arms for a little while longer before Helena stands up with you around her waist, bringing you downstairs in the kitchen with her.
"Look at the time baby, how about we have Dinner hm?" You tense up, what she immediately notices.
"It's okay baby. What do you want to eat?" "Y/f/f (your favourite food)"
"Okay. Coming right away."

You watch your wife prepare your Dinner, smiling all the time at her sweet gestures.
Once the food was ready, you both sit next to each other with Helena holding your hand.
She helped you through the whole Dinner like many times before.
After eating, you clean up the kitchen and get in bed upstairs.

"Can you read to me?"
"Of course. Poems?"
"Yes please" you snuggle into Helena's side, her arm around your waist and yours over her stomach.
"I love you, always remember that."
"I love you too and thank you for everything." You mumble before slowly drifting off to sleep by listening to her sweet voice.

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I hope this'll help some of you.

Please take care of yourselves and text me anytime if you need someone to talk to.

Have a great day/night!

Love you<3